I Need To The Chained Up The Second Autumn Starts

Being sick sucks so bad

13 aug 2024

I’ve been sick with some stomach flu recently and just remembered how horrible it is to need to throw up (it’s so bad) BUT the worst thing is that it’s been a week and I’ve not been able to stand up without being really nauseous?? Like if I stand up slowly it’s fine I just get a little ache but if I just go from laying to sitting up or sitting to standing too quickly I feel like vomiting AND SOMETIMES I DO

this sucks and I hate it here.

Anyways,

fanartists

15th feb 2024

what is it with you and the line of spit when two characters are kissing? what the actual fuck dudes but also i kinda love it please stay on that love you guys, hugs and kisses xoxo

anyways,

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

an old description writing

23rd jan 2024

but this is from like december i wanna say (13th november to be exact)

There is no wind. the salt is carried up to my nose in thick waves, no wind to blow it away. i slam the car door, old paint and rust crumble into my hand like ironic summer snowflakes. i swipe them away, turning to focus on the sea. the stone ledge burns and its sharp corners scrape my legs. i say nothing.

Almost i lie and say i see france, the shiny, salt coated swimmers paddling thier way across the channel, small sun-scorched children mimic french revolutions with sandcastles and cruel older brothers kick them over, revolution hungry seagulls swoop down chopping the heads off of chips. i remember the winters of gulls nesting far from the beach, where snow meets sand and the winter bite takes my mind away from the nausiatingly still day.

i remember winter, not too long ago, not long to come. violent whiplash between small giggles bubbling up from the beach and silent crunches of snow. grease lined smoke, thick smells and some gauge nostalgia always will break for crisp cold air, smoke rises from your mouth as you speak, i wish i could hear you speak, to ice capped waves, to salty snow, to frozen stone ledges where your clothes stick. you always hated summer and so i will in some Machiavellian remembrance of the person i used to know.

an alarm rings on my phone, the parking meter has run out. cold coins fall into the machine, ill have another hour. maybe ill plunge into the sea, swim as far as i can and stare back at the landscape of families and umbrellas, comedically oversized for the children underneath. an old church next to seemingly more rundown souvenir shops, the car i remember you driving in, the lampposts you tried to climb, the walls you spray painted. maybe ill go over to calais, join a family there with bright bathing suits and picnic baskets i can almost see now. its beautiful, the summer is beautiful.

anyways,

"porn is a healthy expression of sexuality" you are like a terrorist to me

When Adam bit the apple he did it because he trusted Eve. Because he loved her. Adam bit into the apple because the woman he loved told him to, no matter what God said. No matter the rules of heaven. What's heaven to a woman's love anyway? What's God to your wife? The first sins of humanity, were trusting others. Eve trusted a snake, Adam trusted Eve, and I trust you. Maybe that's a sin, just like the first couple. Maybe everyone's right about us and we're sinners and we offend God. But like I said, what's God to a woman's love anyway? What has heaven got that I can't find sitting next to you on a cool autumn morning?

beauty is pain

28th dec 2023

my teeth are yellow but the gel in teeth whitening strips tastes gross and has a gross texture

3 dec 2024

She had no idea what she was going to lose. Didn’t even stop to savour it.

Anyways,

I forget how much I love performing

16 apr 2024

Jamie opened tonight!! it was insane, that buzz that feeling you get inside I forget how real it is, like electricity is in the air and everyone’s joy is palpable. I’ll really miss this. This community, everyone is friends, I’ll talk to the people I wouldn’t normally talk to and you stay on stage left cramped in with everyone and it feels so real.

Anyways,

what if ctommy hit his growth spurt in exile so not only was he fucking freezing and malnourished but the little bit of growing that he can do only serves to make his one set of clothes Not fit him anymore . tall like his brother was when he was alive and skeletal like his brother is when hes dead. does that make sense. what if that happeend