What Of It. - Blog Posts

While you're right, entirely right, the thing is It shouldn't even be a 'i have to do x' in the first place. You should always get a reason for doing what it is that you are doing, otherwise dicipline will just be associated with negative feelings, and by that point it's back to square one of why we even go through the motions. The ironic exception is training dicipline itself, for which tasks that are inherently unnecessary are great.

You gotta want to do it, or failing that, at least convince yourself the task has meaning (If you're good enough at the skill of self-convincing, "getting the task done" can be meaning enough, too). Personally I just don't aknowledge the feeling of "I don't want to''. "I don't wanna go buy groceries" "Ah that's alright do it anyways"

So I guess what I really mean isn't that you can't recognise your own wish not to do something, but instead that you recognise it and just do the task instead of spending that expensive mental energy convincing yourself you HAVE to do it for your or someone elses sake.

Still, getting a free reason to want to do your tasks are a great thing, and is a boon you should cherish while you have it.

The first time I listened to My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski my MaDD went "Good danceing song, destiel works with it, heres a scene where they dance and become happy."

So, Sam, Dean, Bobby, and Cas are at a party undercover(it kinda looks like the museum party w/ Bella and ghost ship and granny creepin on Sam)

and for some reason Sams like "you two stay down here, me and Bobby will go upstairs to do the thing." and Deans like "well what are we gonna to just stand here?!" And Bobby's like "course not you gotta play the part and get out there" and Dean does that 'is this fool serious' look and is like "what you want me and Cas to dance like cinderella and prince charming" dean prolly doesnt know what disney is but bobbys like "duh" and drags them out to the dance floor and puts cas's hand on deans shoulder and leaves w/ sam to do the thing and it's really awkward at first but then they get comfrotable and actually start having fun and dean spins cas at one point and cas almost trips but dean catches him and deans embarresed but cas starts giggling and it makes dean laugh and at the end of the song there just looking in eachothers eyes as they slowly stop moving and dean looks like he's about to make a move but sam and booby round the corner and when they see them they just kinda stand there cuz they have to go but they didn't wanna ruin the moment but cas sees them and then he and dean snap out of it and deans walking by ands like "you got it- great lets go" and cas silently follows him trying to hide his disapointment and sam and bobby give eachother this look😒

I haven't talked to them in a while maybe I should shoot them a message.

What if they don't wanna talk but will anyways cuz they're a nice person? you'll bother them.

What if you're just being clingy cuz they care about you? That's selfish.

They haven't messaged me.

What if they've never really WANTED to talk to you?

Maybe they don't wanna be bugged by you anymore.

Maybe they think you're ghosting them.

I'll wait for them to message me.

People that watched UA: I am in so much pain, it was so hard watching time tick by!

People that showed up late: I didn't get to watch it all, I missed my one shot!

People that learned about UA after it was gone: ...*that one sad song from Up starts playing*

Me: I don't need a therapist. Thanks to my MaDD I know alot about my actions and reactions that would normally take years of therapy to figure out so seeking a proffesional to conferm that would be a silly waste of money.

Also me, thinking I'm selfish for thinking: I don't deserve anything I'm a worthless waste of skin I wish everyone would forget about me I'm such a bad person I should leave my friends and not burden them I should just run away so no one would

I woke up randomly last night, wrote this, and went back to sleep.

Wait, some people can just let themselves cry? No guilt or anything?

Daily dose of: me and sis :D

*3AM*

Sister: Jellie died!

Me: What!

Sis: *bawling her eyes out*

Me: Okay, watch something happy- Ranboo out of context or something- and forget about it and grieve in the morning.

Sis: He lost his best friend- *bawling*

Me, panicing: Turn on some whacky kazoo music and go to sleep!

Sis: Ohh- a baby rabbit *sniffling*

Me: Yes, watch the video about the baby rabbit... and don't think about how it'll inevitably die someday-

Sis: Taz!

Me: What?! I'm soulless at this point- memento mori, baby.

Sis: Ah, here- *shows me phone*- Tango's a happy man, right?

Shameless self-shipping

I like this picture a normal amount I promise

me when eyeball go glowy mode

Sketching another short comic concept, about a servant/handmaiden who delays her lady and lover's execution by an enemy king by agreeing to a terrible task: purifying a cursed sword within a year, whose immense power will then be turned against her homeland if she succeeds. Traditionally, all those who have sacrificed themselves to temporarily purify the sword's madness have been consumed by it and died horrifically; she is not expected to fare differently.

commissions for @callmestarfle! thank you!!!

Being with someone and acting like a big silly dork and seeing their smile and knowing that they love you for it is the best feeling in the world

maybe i do want to be railed by a fictional character, what of it?