Incorrect Stranger Things Quotes - Blog Posts

Random Incorrect Stranger Things Quotes,

𝗟𝘂𝗰𝗮𝘀: Guess what I’m about to get!!

𝗠𝗮𝘅: On my nerves.

Mike: Shut up, You’re messing with my train of thought!

Max: I thought you didn’t have a brain, And now you tell me you have thoughts?

Will: You have to apologize to them Mike.

Mike: Fine! But I will warn you, this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with.

Steve: You guys don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Eddie: Spear?

Steve: BLOCKED

Nancy: I owe you one.

Steve: That’s okay. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

Steve: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I strong, Or weak?

Max: Strong

Robin: Weak

Nancy: An idiot, is what you are.

Mike: Can I bother you for a second?

Will: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

Max: You have an impressive pain tolerance.

Will: Thanks, it's the trauma.

Max: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.

Will: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

I told myself I would stop with the Steve is a mom joke for a while, but this popped into my head, but I do feel like Steve might overcompensate in s5:

Jonathan: Does Dustin know you're not his father?

Steve: *scoffs* Of course he does.

Nancy: Then why are you fixing him chocolate milk and cutting the crusts off his grilled cheese?

Steve: Because they're his favorite, and he doesn't like the crusts.

Jonathan: Well, you know, you don't have to do it.

Steve: And just leave the crusts on? Hasn't he been through enough? Dustin, come get your food!

Dustin: Thanks, Mo - I mean, Steve. By the way, uh, mom can't take me my doctor's appointment, can you?

Steve: Sure. *Dustin walks out.* See, he knows I'm not his dad.

Nancy: *narrows eyes* He almost called you mom.

Jonathan: Why are we dating him again?

Nancy: Because we both agreed that we loved him.

Steve: Hilarious.

Dustin being the definition of 👀

I saw this post and it gave me flashbacks of a few days ago when i was going to my campus and a bike with some people dressed as and elf and Santa Claus passed right in front of the car.

Now, imagine that but with Steve as Santa and Robin as the elf.

Bonus points if instead of a bike is Eddie’s van full of the Party dressed as some Christmas character and when they get out they look like a Christmas version of a clown car.

Eddie walked into Steve’s house to find the kids crowded around the entrance to the living room. He looked in to find Robin and Steve hanging upside down on the couch, looking depressed.

Eddie: What's going on?

Dustin: They got rejected by a cult today.

Robin: And the thing is, we didn't know it was a cult.

Steve: And when we did figure it out, we didn't want to join, but suddenly, they wanted us!

Robin: And now they don't!

Steve: What the hell does "too perfect" even mean?!

Max: Why are you upset they rejected you?! They kidnapped you!

Robin: And it's nice to feel wanted sometimes, Maxine!

Eddie: Okay, where the hell is this place?

An hour later, Eddie stormed back into the house, brushed past the kids, and threw himself down next to Robin.

Robin: You get rejected, too?

Eddie: They just looked me up and down and shook their heads! Then, when I demanded answers, they threw me out! What the hell kind of cult is this?

Steve: It's a rude cult.

A few minutes later, Hopper came to pick up Will and El.

Hopper: *looking into the living room* What the hell happened?

Will: Go easy on them, dad. They got rejected by an entire cult today.

Hopper: What?!

Steve's car + B99 reference = Steve naming his car Gertie (or Sexarella if you're feeling fancy).

[Eddie, Robin and Steve in a sleepover]

Robin: [sleeping]

Steve: How is she already asleep?

Eddie: Maybe is the lack of guilt on her conscience.

Steve: Uh, couldn't be me.

Robin: What do you call a fish with no eye?

Nancy, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons.

Robin: …

Robin: Fsh.

Steve : You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Nancy: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Steve : That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Nancy: But I heard a siren.

Eddie: That was Robin.

Robin: Sorry, I got nervous

Steve, trying to flirt: No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.

Eddie: …My eyes are brown.

Robin: *rolls over in her sleep and knees Nancy in the ribs*

Nancy: Ow! You kneed me

Robin, still asleep: Yeah, I do need you…

Nancy, holding back tears: Ok…

Nancy to the party: Alright, listen up you little shits!

Also Nancy: Not you Robin, you’re lovely and we’re glad you’re here.

Nancy: *puts a little note in Robin’s breakfast*

Robin: *finds and reads the note* Aww, “I love you”, how cute.

Nancy: : )

Robin: I love you too egg!

Nancy: …

Nancy: I’ve been dropping the most insanely obvious hints for months, nothing.

Robin: Wow, they sound really dumb.

Nancy: They’re not though, they’re actually really smart, just dense.

Robin: Maybe be more obvious! Like just straight up say “hey, I love you!”

Nancy: Ok. Robin, I love you.

Robin: Yes! Exactly like that!

Nancy: Oh my god…

Robin: And if that goes over their head, I’m sorry Nance but they’re too dumb for you.

Nancy: Rob…

Nancy: I like your pants.

Robin: Thanks! They were 50% off.

Nancy: I’d like them 100% off ;)

Robin: The store can’t just sell free stuff,

Nancy: That’s not what I-

Robin: That’s a terrible way to run a business Nance.

Steve: Robin and I are so close we finish each other’s…

Robin: *zoned out*

Steve: Ssss

Robin: *snapping back to reality* Sssomebody once told me-

Robin: *Staring off into space*

Nancy: You good robs?

Robin: *Still staring into the abyss* Lasagna is just Spaghetti flavoured cake…

Nancy: *Extremely concerned but also question human existence* Ok what the fu-

Steve: Robin’s gone on a trip for band which means I’m gonna donate half my wardrobe, try to cook something and most likely set the kitchen on fire, do my nails and give myself a haircut.

Nancy, extremely concerned: Why?

Steve: Robin is like 98% of my will power.

Dustin: Ok, thanks dads.

Everyone: …

Dustin: Why’s everyone staring at me?

Robin: You just called Steve and Eddie your dads. You said, “Thanks dads”.

Dustin: What no I didn’t, I said thanks guys.

Steve: Do you see us as father figures Henderson?

Dustin: No! If anything I see you both as bother figures cause you’re always bothering me!

Nancy: Hey! Show your dads some respect!

Dustin: I didn’t call them my dads!

Eddie: No, no, no, Dustin, we take it as a compliment.

Mike: It’s not a big deal, one time I called El “Will”.

Dustin: Guys! Jump on that! Mike’s madly in love with will but still dating El!

Max: Old news! But you calling Steve and Eddie your daddy’s-

Dustin: Hey! Daddy is not on the table here!

Lucas: But you did call them your dads dude.

Dustin: You shut up! You’ve done nothing but lie since you got here!

Lucas: Ok I’ll admit, I stole your DnD book, but the dad thing? That happened.

Dustin: AHAH! Lucas admitted to stealing my DnD book! It was a trap! All a part of my crazy, devious plan.

Steve: We believe you.

Dustin: Thank you.

Eddie: Son, would you like to talk about it later over a, game of catch?

Dustin: …I’d like that.

Nancy: So, who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

Robin: I did, I bro-

Nancy: No. No you didn’t. Eddie?

Eddie, messing with Steve: Don’t look at me, look at Steve

Steve: What? I didn’t break it.

Eddie: Huh, that’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Steve: Because it’s sitting right in front of us, and it’s broken.

Dustin, also messing with Steve: Suspicious.

Steve: No it’s not!

Lucas: If it matters, probably not but, Erica was the last one to use it.

Erica: Liar I don’t even drink that crap!

Lucas: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Erica: I use the wooden stirs to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that LUCAS!

Robin: Ok, ok, let’s not fight! I broke it! Let me pay for it Nance.

Nancy: No. Who broke it?

Dustin: Nancy…Max has been awfully quiet.

Max: Really?!?

Dustin: yeah really!

Max: Oh my god!

(Arguing in the background)

Nancy: I broke it. It burnt my hand so I punched it.

Eddie, DMing a game for the Fruity Four: *BBEG voice* And now, time for the deadliest game of them all…

Robin, nodding: Knife Monopoly.

Eddie: …Actually I was just gonna send his minions to hunt you for sport but now I’m seriously interested in whatever the fück Knife Monopoly is.

Robin: Bad news, Steve forgot his keys and we where all locked out of the house. Good news I knew how to pick the lock! Bad news now Steve is concerned why I know how to pick locks, Eddie and the kids where pretty impressed though, I didn’t have the heart to tell them I learned how to pick locks when I was fifteen because I thought it would impress pretty girls. Good news a pretty girl saw me do it! Bad news, it was Nancy, and she’s already seen me trip over my own feet multiple times and burst into tears when a baby deer was just a little bit TOO cute…it’s too late…she already knows.

Robin, texting Nancy: Help I’ve been kidnapped!

Nancy: where are you?

Robin: In a car with some random stranger!

Nancy: Hold on I’ll call Steve.

Steve, picking up the phone: Hello?

Nancy: Where’s Robin? She just texted me saying she’s been kidnapped.

Steve: Robin? Robins with me…I’ll call you back. *turning to talk to Robin* THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Robin: WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!

(Steve’s passed out again)

Dustin: We gotta get him to a hospital now!

Max: Then I should drive

Mike: Why you?

Max: Because I have nothing to live for and I drive like it.

(Cut to)

Everyone, including a now awake Steve: *SCREAMING*

Steve and Nancy talking to Robin, Eddie and the kids: I am at a loss for words.

Robin: Despite being at a loss for words, they both continued to yell ut us for the next 45 minutes.

Robin: My girlfriend once told me she thinks my eyes are Weezer blue…..She also often tells me she thinks that, I am autistic.

Steve (teaching Robin how to drive): Ok, so you’re driving down the road, and all of a sudden Mike and Dustin are crossing it, what do you hit?

Robin: Oh definitely Mike. I mean Nancy might be a bit mad at me but I could never hit Dustin.

Steve, rubbing his temples: The brakes Robin. You hit the brakes!

Eddie: I hate physical touch and any signs of affection. It’s just gross and unnecessary.

Robin: You’re literally sitting in Steve’s lap.

Eddie: That’s…irrelevant.

Robin: I wasn’t THAT drunk last night

Steve: You were flirting with Nancy

Robin: So, she’s my girlfriend?

Steve: You asked her if she was single and when she said no you started crying.

Eddie: So, I’m in love with Steve.

Robin: Steve, my best friend?

Eddie: Yeah. Thoughts?

Robin: And prayers…