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Idk If This Makes Sense - Blog Posts
James and Regulus were too busy trying to act not inlove, to realise they were.
Remus and Sirius were too busy being inlove, to realise they were.
Not to get into community discourse, but I’d like to share a point.
Mind you, I have seen multiple sides to this “debate” as I like to have rounded knowledge before I say my piece, about ANYTHING political or discourse-y.
The statement I’ve seen again and again, in multiple places, is the sentiment that there aren’t bills directly targeting transmascs, or hatred directed specifically at transmascs, or anything else under that umbrella directed at transmascs.
Obviously there have been a lot of good counters to these statements, and I’m not going to repeat something that’s been said better or more eloquently by others.
However, I have yet to see anyone talking about something that, in my opinion, really should be referenced more.
The concept of “Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria” (ROGD).
ROGD as a concept was legitimately created to theorize why, all of a sudden, transmascs were coming out and attempting to transition.
Rather than acknowledging the blatant truth- tranness, to these people, was limited to AMABs, and even then, for the longest time “trans healthcare” for ANY trans person was just discouraging transition altogether- they decided to make up a narrative that suited their needs.
That their precious “daughters” were falling victim to a new disorder. Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria.
Rather than help their sons feel comfortable in their own bodies, masses of parents flocked to this idea. Politicians flocked to this idea, and used it as a BASIS for many anti-trans bills.
Need I cite the hopefully infamous book? “Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters”? The INFAMOUS book written elaborating this idea? The book used as evidence for countless transphobic bills?
That one concept (which, by the way, ROGD has been discredited by NUMEROUS health organizations worldwide, just in case I needed to clarify that) led to COUNTLESS transmascs facing abuses at home, in school, and elsewhere.
IDK, just food for thought. I think it’s odd that, in all my searching and read throughs of this discourse, NOBODY has mentioned this, even though it’s a pretty good example of transmasc specific oppression.
”What happens to you when the pit takes over?”
“I don’t really know. I just know it feels good.”
(Welcome back to head cannon alley where Jason isn’t really present during his pit episodes and instead goes into a floater like state. He doesn’t really know what’s going on all he knows is that the pit is indulging on his more morally gray actions.
Also it’s a head canon that the pit episodes gives an almost euphoric state, so you feel good when they happen. They’re addictive, which adds another layer onto why it’s hard to fight against them, to stay in control.)
Small Tang Ramble
Right now, I have started rewatching the entire Lego Monkie Kid series from the start while I wait to see the recent season 5 episodes (that I was suckerpunched with when scrolling through Tumblr and having some stuff spoiled whene I didnt even think a new season would come for at least a few more months).
Then, when I finally got to season 4, I noticed something interesting with how they handle Tang's powers.
At the start of the season, it's revealed that Tang's cheat sheet, given to him by Azure Lion, was something that supposedly should've been helpful to someone "mysticly powerful, comparable to the Great Monk, Tang Sanzang", then the sheet should be a piece of cake so to speak.
Then we see how Tang struggles and has a hard time finding where his friends are located, but then a Golden Cicada helps him to find Pigsy, which was the same one that flew around the Samadhi Fire ritual site when Mei had it reunited within her.
That's not my topic right now, though, so I'll just skip the "random destiny bugs" (name given to me by a friend), and keep going towards my main point.
Anyways, skipping a few episode to when the meet the Great Master (I forgot the guys name), we see how Tang got berated for his lack of courage and work ethic. Then Tang and the rest of the gang are put to train, and I'm not exactly sure on how long they were in training for, but I'm going to assume a few hours at the sky visibly got darker near the end of the montage.
(I'm pretty sure that something akin to a stop in time for them to train would have been stated in the show itself if that was an explanation for how long they have been training for, so I'm gonna rule out any sort of "checkpoint" or "rest stop" rules here, like when you can stay in a safe space for whatever amount of time and come out with little time passed afterwards.)
The reason why I'm talking about how long they've trained for, is because after (what I assume) is a few hours, Tang is able to teleport a WHOLE AIR BALLOON, RIGHT ON TOP OF WHERE THEY NEEDED TO BE, WITHOUT HIS STAFF NO LESS.
*ahem* We know Tang had struggled with the teleportation magic from the beginning, even with his staff along with only transporting 3 people, and the magic level required to do so is comparable to the Monk, who is very powerful considering what we've seen in how his training was revered by the great master for being extensive plus how the Monk focussed only on his studies, and in-show examples. (Ex. Releasing the heavenly seal put on monkey king singehandedly, sealing the Samadhi Fire along with three others, then also Sealing the Lady Bone Demon to where she can only escape through her self reflecting or a rare, mystical key, etc)
I'm just saying how it's very impressive how Tang could go from barely being able to teleport accurately with 3 people, the staff in hand, to figuring out how to teleport accurately, how to teleport something as big as an airship, and then gaining enough focus/mystic power to do the teleport without his staff for this first time shown in the show. And remember this: all of this growth was in, at most, half a day.
And we know how long the Great Monk had to study to get to where he was, "learning everything there was to learn" with him blocking out anything else to focus purely on his studies to get where he was, and yes, he probably studied more than just the teleportation magic in his time, but Azure said it himself, that someone "mysticly powerful, comparable to the Great Monk, Tang Sanzang" should be able to figure out the cheet sheet, or at least versed in the mystical topic.
I already showcased how much work is really needed through that comment, but then Azure showed it again in his comment of "if hes learned it in the mystical arts.." describing how this would have needed to be taught like how they gang were forced to with the Great Master. We already know how hard the training from the Great Master was to get even a fraction of Mk's power, and considering how heavily it's put on how the Monk only studied and studied when it was talked about, with the students in the flashback looking like the ones under the Great Master, I would assume learning the mystic arts takes a similar amount of time and effort.
And now that my points have been laid out, you guys get it when I was gobsmacked at how quickly Tang grew in the time with the Great Master, reiterating my point of how Tang was able to figure out HOW TO DO TELEPORT AND AIRSHIP WITHOUT THE CHEAT SHEET, WITH HIS BARE HANDS, IN A MATTER OF HOURS when it was heavily implied (from what interpreted) that doing something like this would take a considerable amount of time and training, even for the Monk as he was said to only focus on his studies to optimize his mystic abilities and to block any distractions.
And then to add to this, it was only ever shown in the show that Tang only read throughout the entire training session. Whenever we see him in the montage, it's him reading scrolls no matter what. We never see him practice, or even mimic any of the moves or exercise that I would assume would be on those scrolls for him to learn. Then, the first time he ever put those ideas he read about into practice after using the staff the entire time before and messing it up, he was able to make the transportation of the airship fast, accurate, and without the help of the staff entirely.
TLDR: Tang is either so good at cramming that he was able to shorten a good year of learning into a couple hours, or he's severely gifted in the mystic arts with the right training or examples. Either way, if you gave this man a week in the scroll library with some noodles and motivation from the Great Master, then I would assume he might actually become one of the most powerful characters LMK, given the time to do so. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Part of the reason why I like Zooble the most out of all the characters is because of the direction they were taken in
I've seen characters in different shows and games who can change their appearance at will(usually shapeshifters, but I'd loop Zooble in with them because of the swappable parts) and because they can change their appearance like that, they're usually really confident and sometimes full of themselves
Zooble being overwhelmed by and hating the feeling of being able to change themselves is a great change in direction that I'm honestly surprised I haven't seen done before
I just love the phrase "bone-deep weariness." Such a rich, raw way to describe fatigue. Far superior to "enervated", which is much too sharp (and similar sounding to "invigorated"). "Fatigued" is a close second though ...
The original idea is from @keigohawks
Sorry if any of this doesn't make any sense, English is not my first language. Bare with me pls!
So, imagine a cagefighter!Logan x cagefighter!reader (like keigohawks says), in which both of them are dating but still have to keep up with the cage fights because it's the only way they can get money out of their mutations, and usually they don't fight together, but they get pair to fight each other and they can't denied it because it is that or to get fired.
So, they fight and it's just the two of them trying to be careful to not hit eachother on places were they know would be lethal, but trying to keep things credible. Kind of angst but not really? Idk.
ALSO! After the fight, they tend each other wounds (because there is no way these two can fight and not get any injuries even if they're careful) and they keep apologising for each wound they caused.
(Btw, if keigohawks reads this and is uncomfortable with this, pls comment and I'll delete it <3)
I completely forgot the line you mentioned about Andrew’s mind being where it should have been, but your comments about it are spot on! Andrew is too saddened by Laurie leaving, and then too distracted by refusing his demands, that he cannot think enough to come up with a way to comfort Charlot, his actual charge. It really makes the whole thing 10x sadder. I'm definitely gonna have to go back and reread that scene now, just to get a clearer sense of it all!
Re: 'the loss of that relationship feels real to me' I think is because it is a real loss. Laurie loved Andrew, and always felt their relationship to be real even when Ralph didn't, but by the end he can never see him again. It's heartbreaking.
Actually, both times I read the book, I came away happy for Laurie but also very sad and I think his relationship with Andrew (and Andrew's whole storyline) is the reason why. If you think about it, at the end of the book, Laurie is put in the exact same position Ralph was all those years ago at school: here is someone who adores him, and who refuses to believe that he's done what he's been accused of simply because he cannot fathom that he'd do it. And what does Laurie do? Exactly what Ralph did: he tells the truth, gives Andrew the Phaedrus and goes away. But what will happen to Andrew after this? We don't know and neither does Laurie. He may die in the next 5 years, but even if he doesn't, it seems hopelessly optimistic to envision a similar happy ending to Laurie's for him.
Propaganda for Andrew's moral code....
Time for a bit of Andrew love I think.
@telltaleangelina I loved your post about Ralph/Laurie’s philosophy of life compared with Andrew’s, which so resonated with me - they have a kind of heroic idealism which is very attractive, and apart from anything else it supplies most of the drama and action of the book!
But it also made me want to think more about Andrew and his motivations. So, inspired by the 'Hot Austen men' polls, here is some propaganda for Andrew. At fifteen he had to decide whether to throw in his lot with the military side of his family or the pacifist one, and it is made clear he took this decision seriously:
“I thought all around it. I thought there might conceivably even be some circumstances when I felt it was right to kill. If I knew whom I was killing and the circumstance and the nature of the responsibility. What I finally stuck at was surrendering my moral choice to men I'd never met, about whose moral standards I knew nothing whatever."
He becomes a CO not to abrogate moral responsibility but so that he can take responsibility for his actions. Later he and Laurie have this exchange:
“One has to draw the line where one sees it oneself."
"Is that what you call the inner light?"
"If you like, yes."
So the thing that strikes me about the Charlot incident is that his principled stance is not blind faith or rigidity of thought. His main regret is that fighting with Laurie prevented him finding a solution to the problem. He says:
“If I ... if my mind had been where it should have been, I'd have known what ought to be done, something would have come to me."
Laurie says:
"I do this kind of thing. I get steamed up about things that happen to people till I've got to do something or burst, and if it turns out to do more harm than good, hell, what's the odds, it did good to me. At school for instance. A man -- one of the boys I mean, was going to be sacked, and because I liked him I took for granted he couldn't have done it, and I was all set to have raised hell and involved a lot of other people. And all the time he'd done it after all."
Laurie admits that actually it feels good to ‘do’ something, even if the other person doesn't want it. It is easy to see that both of them have a valid point when it comes to the practicalities. But for me, the point is that as long as they are trying to impose their will on each other, and operating from a place of ego, there is no possibility of finding another solution. There are a hundred things they could have done to ease Charlot’s last moments if they had stopped thinking about themselves for one moment. I think it's interesting for example that Laurie is the only person Charlot still recognises but he wants to 'outsource' comfort to someone else.
And then I realised that when Laurie is referring back to his 16 year old self getting 'steamed up' it is Ralph who points out to him that however much he might ‘want’ to ‘do’ something, it will be hurting other innocent people such as his own family (and very likely including Ralph himself).
Often, Laurie is annoyed at Ralph's inability to stand by. The bit on the stairs at the party, for instance, and the bit where he tells Ralph "You can't eat and breathe for me, or live for me. No one can." Pretty strong stuff to say to the man you just made passionate love to a moment ago! And let's not forget the comment about the drunk trying to mend the watch.
Sometimes I think the really sad thing is that Laurie is locked in to a different system of morality (The Phaedrus), one which means he is Andrew’s mentor and protector and Andrew is the innocent and therefore had no real moral agency. I'm not sure that means he could have or should have been with Andrew as a romantic partner, but the loss of that relationship feels real to me.
And finally....I think you have made me understand something that has always puzzled/amused me a little bit about the arguments that Laurie/Ralph have. He uses all those military analogies that seem to suggest that even while he sees that Ralph is trying to dominate him and battles with it, he is also, kind of, comfortable with it. And maybe it is that he sees himself in Ralph, he completely understands why Ralph is behaving the way he does. I always find that so touching (a little bit funny too, especially the captain shouting 'fire'!)