Hank Mccoy - Blog Posts

Charles: just be yourself!

Alex: be myself? i have one day to win over Sean. how long did it take before you all started liking me?

Erik: couple of weeks

Mystique: six months

Hank: jury’s still out

Alex: see? “be myself” what kind of garbage advice is that?

I wonder what Kurt uses when he showers or bathes. Does he use shampoo for all the fuzz or does he use regular soap? I feel like his skin would get dry and itchy, does he use conditioner???

(this also extends to Beast)

And speaking about cleaning things, what about wolverine's claws??? Does that man never clean his claws? I feel like it would be so ungodly uncomfortable trying to retract them back in with a bunch of debris/ blood on them.

nooo don't compromise and rethink your morals youre so sexy ahah

Logan to Scott : Excuse me? Who made you the boss of the group?

Ororo : You did.

Hank : You said "Scott should be boss."

Jean : And then you said "let's vote" and it was unanimous.

Gambit : And then you made him this little plaque that said "Boss of Us" and you put little sparkles on it.

Logan : Valid points, all.

Happy Hare, where have you buried all your children? Tell me so I say

You can't keep them all safe. They will die and be afraid.

Mother, tell me so I say

Help, i have a chronic obsession with nerdy and weird mfs

Why would the X-Men name Hank Beast?

Why would the X-Men name Hank Beast? Sure, he’s big, blue, and hairy, but a ‘beast’ is usually something that is uncivilized and brutish. While he may be ‘scary’ to some, he is anything but uncivilized. He regularly quotes novels like Dante’s Inferno, and isn’t just spitballing something that sounds smart. He has the ability to discern decent interpretation of the texts and use them at his discretion in fitting scenarios. The speedo might be a bit weird, but shoving that much fur into clothes must be uncomfortable. The chafing would be horrible, with constricting materials not necessarily being made to fit him. And a lot of anti-mutant organizations like the ‘Friends of Humanity’ call many mutants beasts. So why would Xavier take one of his most ‘monstrous’ mutants and let him be called Beast? It’s almost like he’s attempting to ‘reclaim’ the term like the IRL LGBTQ+ community reclaimed the word ‘queer’ for themselves. But it’s more akin to some trying to reclaim the f-slur- I’d expect ‘mutie’ to become something to reclaim, not something that has such heavy connotations with ‘monsters’. Xavier found Hank after the deaths of his team and made him forget. He turned him into this icon of ‘beasts’ unwittingly, and surrounded him with ‘more palatable’ mutants like he was some sort of diversity hire.

Maybe that’s why Hank clings to humanity so much, he wants so desperately to not be seen as a ‘beast’.

Edit: this was me being a dumbass again and not checking my sources while sleep deprived and in the middle of a lecture, I was wrong lol

Completely random headcanons that make no sense and are completely out of character for (movie) X-Men characters :

(If it's just the character then it's probably from the old timeline, aka the first movie, X2, The Last Stand, all that jazz.)

First Class Proffesor X - Once got so drunk that he made out with his reflection, yes he used the mutant pick up line on himself, he couldn't read anyone's mind for a week because all anyone could think about was that

First Class/During Days Of Future Past Magneto - Decked the shit out of a human kid once because they talked some shit and he doesn't feel bad about it to this day

Post Days Of Future Past Iceman - He naturally gets compared to Elsa after the movie comes out, it haunts him because one of the kids convinced him to dress up as her for halloween.

X2 Rogue - Because of her mutation and what happened in the first movie, she gets really bad anxiety about not wearing gloves, she can't even stay in the same room as someone with them off

Storm - Sometimes her hair gets all static when she's thinking about things and if you touch her when she's mad you'll get a shock, the kids like to rub balloons on her hair and stick them to walls when it happens.

Wolverine - Prefers crunchy food, whenever he eats anything soft he cringes and instinctively spits it out, may or may not have spat in someone's face, scott but that was probably on purpose, once or twice or three times.

First Class Mystique - Sometimes she turns into people she doesn't like and mockingly impersonates them in the mirror, she also uses it to practice her acting but overall it's just to make them look dumb

X2 Pyro - He has a staring problem, you can't call him out on it either because he just acts like he has no fucking clue what you're talking about

First Class Beast - He tried to shave his facial hair off after his serum backfired and had to wear a cone on his head for about a week

Apocalypse Jean Grey - When she's bored she'll grab a random object and just spin it around with her mutation, sometimes people have walked in unexpectedly and got hit in the face by a book or cup

Cyclops - Bites into celery fucking raw he doesn't even wash that shit

Days Of Future Past Quicksilver - He forgets that sometimes he shouldn't use his mutation in front of others, but he's usually so fast nobody notices besides the sudden gust of wind

Panic Attack, featuring Mom Hank and one Very Frightened Feral

another un-edited chunk, definitely gonna be a few more chapters into the fic but here yall go!

Feral Baby Logan AU

The first time they spar, though, it triggers a memory (and a subsequent panic attack). The Beast just holds his wrists, murmurs reassurances, and rubs his thumbs against the outside of Loans knuckles, uncaring of his claws. After that, they really do start to bond. So much so that it causes…some codependency issues in Logan when he has to be apart from His Person. But, that all comes later.

Wolverine manages to hound the Beast into (play) fighting with him. He’s been at the Institute for all of a week and already feels like he’s going to shake out of his skin from boredom.

Everyones treating him like he’ll break if he does any fighting at all, which is boring, and he has to eat all of his meat medium or more because everyone keeps staring at him and watching what he eats,which is annoying, and there's no one else in the building that's his age or anything to do, which is infuriating. 

On top of all that, he’s been forced to meet with Jean Grey and Charlie every day for at least an hour. His head always hurts after, and the last few days have just been with Charle’s after Jean ran out to throw up in the hall bathroom. And that’s not mentioning the weird nightmares he’s been having these past few days, of people he doesn’t know holding him down, the loud cracking of the collar ringing in his ears even after he wakes.  

All to say, if he doesn’t get this tension out soon, he's going to explode. Beast must have seen some of his distress on his face, because he sighs, takes off his reading classes, and nods.

“Alright boy, but you must remember some rules. One,” he holds up a large blue finger.

“If I say stop, we stop. Secondly, you may not use your claws. I know you like using them, but this is a spar, not a fight, and I do not heal as quickly as you do.” He grins. “But biting and your normal claws is allowed.”

Logan doesn’t waste a minute. The moment Beast steps into the ring, Wolverine pounces, a Feral grin in place as he jumps to climb the much larger man. He’s surprised when his weight topples the man, both of them sprawling into the mat. Beast huffs out a laugh, and then grabs him by his shirt and -gently- throws him over his shoulder onto the mat. Logan wheezes, but scrambles up, a grin on his face. This is going to be fun

It’s on their fourth round that it happens: Beast surprises him. He does something to quiet his steps enough for Logan to lose him as he jumps away to get some distance. He’s trying to locate him before he closes his eyes, and realizes the man is somehow behind-

Before he even finishes his though, he sees something blue and lashes out, claws immediately extended, managing to scratch Beasts shirt before-

Beast grabs him by the front of his shirt, lifting him from the ground.  There’s a dangerous glint in his eyes, a rage. It’s now that Logan remembers how much larger and stronger this man is. 

“Boy-”

A dozen voices overlap.

He’s not a boy, but everyone insists on calling him one. They love it in the lab, like he’s to stupid to understand what they're doing to him. Like he can’t understand when they rip his teeth out for attacking an essential catch, or fighting the doctors when they cut off his fingers and carve out his joints ‘for research’.

The man in front of him flicks through forms, brown hair then black then blond, hand growing larger and smaller, clawed-

And all Logan knows

Is a feeling of dread.

So he runs.

Claws retracted, he blindly swipes his arms, hearing a grunt of surprise as he's dropped like a sack of potatoes, and he's running off at a sprint before he can think.

He hears speech, more shouting, but it doesn’t matter. He has to get out.

His ears ring as he runs towards the only thing he can locate: his room.

He slams into door frames, shoves past a few taller kids, and launches himself into the most protected part of his room: the corner between his bed and his bedside table.

It's not until he's huddled in between them that he realizes he forgot to close the door

Fuck.

He’s dry heaving, trying to prevent himself from vomiting when he realizes it is his shirt that's choking him. He rips it off, the fabric feeling just like the collar-

no no he promised he could behave- they promised- please- he was sorry-

and gasps through flashes of pain, pressing his hands against his neck to prove it’s not there anymore, they didn't like to punish animals, weapons like that here. 

“Logan?” Beast is standing in his open door

He wants to scream at him to go away, to leave, to get out of his room; this is the only place he’s safe. But all that comes out is a crackling whimper.

Hank sighs, and walks in. 

Logan hisses, looking very frightening in the corner of his room. His hair is falling into his face, eyes flicking around the room, but only locking onto Hank as he crosses the threshold of the door. There’s dried blood on his neck, on his hands, on his chest. He hurt himself trying to get away.

Hank pauses, and then kneels. He crawls the rest of the room until he’s in front of Logan, who’s biting his lip so hard it keeps bleeding enough to drip down his chin.

Beast reaches a hand out  slowly but steadily. He smells bloody. And nervous. But he doesn't smell mad. It doesn’t make sense.

Logan whines, eyes slamming shut as he feels his claws slowly pop out, trying to defend him despite his knowledge it would be useless. They scrape his neck, but he keeps his hands close to his ears.

Beast grabs his wrists firmly, and his blinks as he just

“C'mon son, you have to stop scratching, you’re just scaring yourself more” He guides his hands down. Once there in his lap, Hank scruffs him gently, one firm hand on his neck as the other one remains in Logan’s, thumb rubbing the edge of his claws.

It’s familiar. 

Another memory, a breath whispered along the shell of his ear. A feeling of comfort

"C'mon runt, breathe.”

Hank echoes it, calling him son and counting out how long he's supposed to hold and then release.

He breathes

Hank's hand guides his face into the crook of his shoulder and something about the security, the safety of his room, the calm response of the doctor… the warmth of someone else cradling him.

Logan breaks.

His calmed breaths abruptly turn to sobs, and when Hank attempts to gently dislodge him (to see what he did wrong) he’s surprised by Logan clinging to him, hands shakily fisted in hims shirt, face smooshed into his neck, hard enough that Hank can feel the tears on his shirt.

And he does what no one else has done for him in years…

He stays.

He tells comforting lies, tells Logan he won’t be punished for hurting him, says they're never gonna put the collar on him again, that he’s safe, not just in his room, but in the whole mansion.

Even as Logan shakes apart, Hank's hands and breath stay constant, a lighthouse to Logan's hurricane.

When he's done crying, he pulls away, staring at the ground. He pretends like his nose isn’t dripping, and sighs.

“…Sorry.”

“It's alright, child. You are new here, and I know it is difficult to believe, but you are welcome to lean on any of us if you require assistance and support.”

In some part of his brain, Logan is screaming at himself

Child is even more infantilizing than a boy…there's no way he's going to let him call that.

But…

He noticed. He’s the first person to have noticed. And He’s the only person who hasn’t been scared of Wolverine the entire time he’s been here. So.. Beast gets a pass.

More Parental Hank

It takes a month or two for Logan to become attached to Beast. He’s a Doctor, and Logan Does Not like doctors. Seeing anyone in a lab coat means Experiments and Pain and Magnets. But when he sees the Beast destroying Sentinels to protects his students, roaring and baring his teeth and using all of himself to fight, well. Like recognizes Like.

Better yet, Hank is much more patient than any Doctor he’s had before. He asks before jabbing him with needles and cold metal stethoscopes and doesn’t even use the Collar to drag him around!

The first time they spar, though, it triggers a memory (and a subsequent panic attack). The Beast just holds his wrists, murmurs reassurances, and rubs his thumbs against the outside of Loans knuckles, uncaring of his claws. After that, they really do start to bond. So much so that it causes…some codependency issues in Logan when he has to be apart from His Person. But, that all comes later.

More of Feral Baby Logan AU:

I imagine that in the Kid Logan AU, Hank Mccoy takes the role of an almost Father figure.

It's a reciprocal relationship, with Logan enjoying someone who can handle his Feralness and primal attitudes. With him, he can (almost) go all out and have fun play fighting, (and being scruffed doesn't sting as much if the guys almost two feet taller than you and built like a brick shithouse), and he can even bite him and know it won't get infected!

It also provides an opportunity for growth in Hank. When he says anything demeaning about the more...Beastly side of himself, it indirectly affects Logan. He doesn't see how Logan's face falls whenever he does, when the Doctor equates acting animalistic to being Less Than or Worse Than humans and mutants. The boy never says anything, but Hank catches on after Wolverine stops behaving so wildly around him.

(Once, after saying something so demeaning about his animalistic tendencies that Logan takes off for weeks, he buys himself parenting books. They help.)

I also just think it would be funny if the reason behind his little 'kitty ear' hair is that he gets head pats and it flattens the top of his hair <3

Day 17: Detention and Almost getting caught

"Someone’s coming.” Peter grabbed his father’s wrist and stopped him from rounding the corner. They stood in the shadow and watched Charles and Hank walk by. The two were deep in conversation and didn’t pay Erik and Peter any attention.

“Now.” Peter checked again, and they continued their way to his room without any more incidents.

Erik locked the door with a flick of his wrist while Peter already spread the goods on his bed. That was when they both heard Charles’ annoyed voice in their heads: “Hiding doesn’t help against telepathy. Give everything back and then meet with me.”

@slashmultiverse

inofficial continuation of: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42122973

Nominating Scott Summers as the most Weezer character

house full of cheaters

[ids in ALT]