Latest Posts by parrishslvr - Page 2
my dawg
we talk a lot about shauna losing jackie and her baby boy and yes those are major traumas. however, i think the moment that truly changed her fundamentally was butchering javi. that moment is truly symbolic of what shes sacrificed for all of the others. she let him die to save nat and then his blood was literally on her hands because no one else could handle the burden of butchering him. this is a kid she LIKED. that she had some small bond with. she had to pull her headband over her eyes because she couldnt bear to look at what she was doing. and the others just left her alone out there cutting up his body because none of them could bear to even watch it. so shauna shoulders it alone. how does the human brain even cope with that experience? especially since every single time gen brings back a kill, shauna has to butcher that animal and relive that moment in some way again and again
and whats crazy is yes shauna resorts to violence easily, shes impulsive and deeply angry, but she doesnt enjoy killing. when she threatened the carjacker her words were much more about the power she felt over him, enjoying the fear of someone who'd wronged her, than actually threatening his life. shes willing to kill for power and control, but her relationship with the actual physical act is complex. sometimes trauma can become strangely familar and soothing, maybe thats why shauna butchers the rabbit in season 1. its like a fucked up coping mechanism based in her need to feel a level of control. and it was okay in her mind, because the rabbit had wronged her, ruined her flowers. but when gen comes back from a hunt with nothing, dont you think shaunas the one who chooses which innocent duck or rabbit has to die so that everyone can eat? like why do you think she cried over the goat? It was probably the first time in her life she was handed something innocent and told, very explicitly, that she was not going to have to hurt it.
essentially what im saying is you dont have to agree with shaunas actions to see her point of view. all she does is feed them. she told them it was what jackie wanted. she told them to wait for javi to drown. each time shes shouldered the actual burden of the choice. and all whilst not even having any faith, in the wilderness or otherwise, to alleviate her guilt. pregnant and starving and she never took extra, she makes sure everyone eats to the detriment of herself, and what does she get in return? shes left alone. in pain. she lashes out at anyone who comes near her and because of it they give up on her, like she isnt what they made her. reliving her trauma every time she peels the skin off a stag. her baby is turned into a diety for a faith she doesnt even believe in. jackie and javi too. the others take her real, human losses and make them mythology, stake a claim on them before shes even had a chance to properly grieve. and ofc these are just kids in an impossible situation needing something to believe in, so you cant even rly judge them for it. but that doesnt make shaunas rage any less understandable
what if i use this blog 4 book reviews?
ok i’m done for the day probably but holy shit adding this 2 the playlist……
The heavy world's upon your shoulders, will we burn on or just smolder? Somehow, I know I'll find you there. Oh, you wanna see if you can change it (change it), still, I know I'll see you there.
↑ I put this verse but they all work, somehow (i wanted to do an even longer drawing at the beginning, sheesh).
Linking music with content is my absolute favorite thing to do. I did it with aftg, and also for trc with this post (muse!!) and obviously the animatic, which happens to have turned 1 year old very recently (happy birthday).
Anyway, I'll do a trc reread soon, last time was two years ago (!!), i've read extracts since but it won't do for much longer.
these are all so good i’m throwing up
okay yes to the hc that ronan dreams flowers after romantic firsts with adam (a la rose petals on the bed after their first time), but also picture this: adam wakes up in the morning the day after they said (actually said it no tamquams here) they loved each other OR morning after jordeclan wedding/pynch proposal and the room is FULL of wildflowers. like it looks like they are in a meadow in cabeswater, just flowers EVERYWHERE and ronan wakes up to adam legit laughing his ass off. they both sneeze from the pollen (why is there dream pollen) and have to clean it up but adam doesn’t want to just throw them away so they spend the day pressing the flowers into books, drying them into bouquets, trying to plant them, giving them out in vases to friends, etc.
fuuuuuuuu k
adam parrish looks different every time you see him. that’s partially demonstrated in the first chapters of cdth, but sometimes his hair is red. sometimes it’s a spunky strawberry blond, or a golden brown, or hay colored yellow. the skin under his eyes is so thin that it gets all purple and veiny, especially when he’s tired but that’s kind of always. sometimes his skin is a sickly sort of grayish yellow but others it’s a dusty tan, a product of working on his cars in the virginia sun. his clothes always seem to fit him differently, it’s the way they hang or perhaps the way he holds himself. every once in a while he has these scary, angry, blue eyes, an inherited gift from his father — but more often theyre the same muddy grey as the sky he looked up at, clouds rolling in overhead, from when he was young. he is stringy and small and six feet tall at the same time. unlike gansey, this has never been “all there is.” and it never will be.
"If I were orpheus I wouldn't look back"
But we look back everyday- rechecking emails, making sure a friend is still behind you, checking to see if you remebered to pick up your keys. It's second nature, a habit of care.
It was second nature for him too. He looked back, not out of weakness, but love. For what is love, if not to look back?
jules why did i let you do this to me