Platinum Blonde

The funniest part of romancing gale is knowing that mystra is most definitely watching your tav or Durge throwing it back on that man during his romance arc shenanigans. He’s actively doing magic during every romance scene, meaning that mystra is canonically duty bound to at least listen. Gale is essentially doing the fantasy equivalent of sending your ex a voice memo of you fucking your new partner in every romance scene. the scene channeling the weave? mystra’s there. astral projection glow in the dark fidget spinner bonefest? mystra’s there. the regular bed option? he summons the bed using magic, so mystra’s there too. scene where he takes you to the astral plane (aka mystra’s literal goddamn house)? mystra’s there. every time. she’s sitting in her little magical cuck chair in the corner watching her ex abuse victim boink his new (likely more age appropriate partner). and you know what? hell yeah. gale deserves a little bit of petty fuckery in his life. go off king

Yes, and I also don’t pay attention to the advertisement out of spite. I turn the volume off completely and stare at the screen in annoyance until I can watch my video again. And no, I will never buy your stupid product, no matter how many times you try to shove it in my face. That just makes me want to buy it even less :)

I love that every INFP playlist I've ever listened starts all cute and sweet and progressively gets more and more depressive and fucked up because haha yeah we do be like that

evil bisexual sex. you agree. reblog

~ A slave to sanguine hunger. ~

it’s really sad and all that but lemme be horni for a sec.. he’d probably look really gorgeous when crying

i ‘ m s o r r y

every time i see steve he’s like. on the verge of tears……you gonna cry man ? let it out man

why have trans discourse when we could have trans intercourse

okay, no shade, but youre missing out on SO much good characters moments if your girlbossify the bg3 women too much. i get it, they're big, strong, badass, but they are, like all bg3 companions, incredibly cringe in their own ways that i think we could stand to appreciate more.

lae'zel throws the worlds biggest meltdown anytime you do anything not directly related to the githyanki creche, only to almost get her shit immediately rocked. lae'zel on modern day stan twitter would be a shitshow and you cant convince me otherwise. and thats before we even mention her fighting you in act two and then immediately crying about it. babygirl its okay, we were only playing. AND TRYING TO KISS HER IN PUBLIC?? she acts big and bad in act 1, fighting rough with you the entire time, but as soon as you ask her for a little kiss? immediate embarrassment. she could absolutely wreck my shit, but shes still a meow meow.

shadowheart is just fantasy catholic. she gets mad if you pick up a statue of selûne bc shes just that catholic. dyes her hair white in a desperate emo crisis of faith moment. recites smut in public. makes jokes that land incredibly flat. is acting way cooler and more chill than she actually is to hide the fact that shes scared. SHE CHOSE THE NAME SHADOWHEART. need i say more?

karlach may be cringe but she is free, i will give her this. she gets the zoomies. she almost blows up a firework shop with her in it because shes so excited. she has a teddy bear called clive. she hasnt read a book since secondary school. she does a little dancy dance if you leave her alone for too long. her inner monologue is just about how horny she is for most people. bisexual failgirl. i love her.

and then the biggest cringefail of them all, minthara. the fact that she absolutely cannot see that every companion at camp actually does grow to really like, love, and respect her bc shes expecting treachery (bc thats what SHE would have done) is as sad as it is just a liiiiittle bit funny. darling. my wife. people like and care about you. not to mention the fact that shes been poisoning you the entire time shes been travelling with you???? cant communicate for the life of her. regularly threatens to kill you but then gets mad if you die. emotionally stunted loserbabe. we will have a july wedding........

what im SAYING isnt that the girls ARENT badass and compotent and cool, what im SAYING is that the lads shouldnt have a monopoly on complexity and depth. you get me?

muss aber sagen, die angsty fanfictions zu diesem Ende schreiben sich geradezu von selber..

hurt/comfort natürlich auch 🤷‍♂️

mullet obi-wan kenobi is the best thing in this world