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Lately I'm struggling again, with so many things. But the worst is the inability to regulate feelings.
I am so full of love and sorrow at the same time. I'm drowning in myself. Sometimes the emotions come like a flood in the ocean or in waves. And sometimes it's just a mere drop dripping in my brain, my day. But always drowning. Either in the overflow or in the nothingness.
I know I should be able to get out of this alone. Shouldn't depend on anyone! But could you help me out of this misery and guide me back home?
You're stuck in my mind just like a song but somehow I can't manage to find the words to explain how much I care about you. You're awesome and my brain likes you, a lot. You're cool and funny and I like spending time with you. A week where I don't get to see you doesn't feel right. Seeing you makes life feel a little bit more light. But I don't understand the feelings I have. I simply don't know in what way I've fallen in love with you. Because I've said it before and I'll say it again, loving your friends is a form of falling in love too
Can I come over?
Can you hold me closer?
Can I crawl in your bed?
And lay down my head?
To get some rest,
On your shoulder or chest!
'cause I feel a bit shaky,
but you feel like safety.
My thoughts are in a rush,
and everything feels way too much.
You're my last sense of direction,
so I need (this) platonic affection.
Because my head got too loud,
it's like there's a giant cloud.
I feel the darkness grow,
and I'm feeling low.
You help me feeling okay,
But not in a romantic way.
With you I don't have to mask,
so is it okay if I ask:
Can I come over tonight?
Because I fail to find light.
Love letter to my friends
I wish I could ask you to come over right now.
Wish I could but I don't know how…
I wish I could tell you about
Everytime my head gets too loud.
How you manage to shut up my mind.
How you help me to find
A way to escape those thoughts in my head.
The ones that leave me wanting to be dead.
Without you I can't find the way.
That's why I wish I could ask you to stay.
Wish I could ask you to stay with me tonight
And help me kill the pain I feel inside.
But telling you about it all
Would mean letting down my wall.
Would allow you to see
Even the hidden parts of me.
And honestly, I probably would
If I only knew how I could…
Cause losing loved ones is what I fear most
But I still let you come so close.
And even despite of my fear
You're part of the reason I'm still here…
(Gefühlschaos)
So oft ist das Leben hart
Aber ich mag dich
Auf eine ganz eigene Art
Und deshalb auch etwas mich
Ich hoffe es wird dich nicht stören
Das ich es mag dich anzusehen
Mag dir zuzuhören
Dich zu verstehen
Mag die Worte die dein Mund verlassen
Mag wie du denkst
Kann es kaum fassen
Wenn du mir ein Lächeln schenkst
Das Bittersüße Gefühl dich zu vermissen
Das Stille Chaos in mir
Würd gern alles von dir wissen
Verbringe so gerne Zeit mit dir
Vielleicht werde ich es wagen,
Wer hätte es geahnt,
Dir irgendwann zu sagen
"Ich mag dich (etwas) mehr als geplant"
The Toy's favorite Child
Notes: This is the first time I'm doing such thing so I'm really nervous XD I didn't know what to put into the background of the drawing so I didn't put any. Maybe I'll edit it soon. Do forgive me for my shading, I'm still learning(trying to)
Synopsis: After starting to live in PlayCare, one creature you became friends with grew a liking to you...
Warning: PLATONIC, headcanon + little story, reader is 12-14 years old, reader is a chill teenager
It's been a year since you got into the PlayCare, passing through the security with laid-back face and leaving the staff confused. They kept you because you seemed useful for them...
You were quite chilly and relaxed, reserved and smart. Also, because of your personality you were almost the same with Cat Nap from cartoons. Maybe that's why you became quick friends with Smiling Critters. With most of them, at least...
The big purple cat was almost never appearing like others from his party. And this interested you.
After a week or so you finally met him face-to-face. You were as calm as always, but your heart was pounding from excitement. You said 'hi' for politeness and introduced yourself, waiting for him to do the same.
Guess what? His face didn't even shift. He continued staring at you with his dead eyes.
After understanding that you won't get an answer from him, you tried to talk about something else.
But he disappeared in blink of an eye.
You were quite disappointed, but you still had the same urge to get to know the living toy better. You knew it'll be a long while...
It was worth 3 months to make him sit and listen to your rambling for 10 minutes. It was worth more months to make him spend at least an hour with you. It took even longer for him to let you stay near him and sleep, leaning onto the puppet. But it was worth the pleasure you get from his warmth and company.
Even though you never heard him talk, it's enough for you to be near him. It's good to talk about any nonsense which randomly comes to your mind and have a listener who won't judge you. It's also good to take a great nap in his fur or stay in complete silence, thinking of your own thing.
The staff, of course, sooner found out the relationship between you and the purple cat puppet.
They tried to use you to their own benefits and new information, but instead you composed some lies which sounded like truth to tell them(Cat Nap helped you a little sometimes, nodding or shaking his head if the lie sounds truthful or not).
When the scientists were starting thinking about taking you for the test next, Cat Nap started to monitor you to make sure you won't end up in the Game Station.
It definitely wasn't him who knocked out the staff members right behind your back. It definitely wasn't him who let out some scratching noises in Home-Sweet-Home. Also, of course, it definitely wasn't his sharp gaze you felt on your gut 24/7.
You liked to use the hair brush on the purple furball. It doesn't move away so you can say that he's at least neutral to your activity(we don't talk about his really quiet purring).
[Now. The small story]
It was a normal day like any other one. More specifically, night. However, this week was quiet strange: the staff members of Playtime Co. except the workers from the PlayCare appeared more often in front of you. When they started talking about 'test', they randomly passed out because of the red smoke. You knew it was one of the Smiling Critters you were hanging out with for a while, but you didn't know why was he doing it.
You were currently sitting with your back leaning against the living cat plush, brushing your companion's tail you gently patted with your free second hand. The only thing that bothered you in that peaceful time was the fact that the purple cat wasn't purring at all. It was staring at you with its dark eyes. Sooner after, you finally asked him about this:
— Is something wrong, Cat Nap?
It didn't answer. Instead, the living toy just stared at you with expressionless eyes, not moving an inch. You weren't intimidated by the stare at all, so you just continued brushing the long tail. You weren't hoping for an answer anyway, but still a small, almost impossible dream was remaining in your heart.
The silence was broken by the raspy, low voice coming out from Cat Nap's voice box.
— The Prototype... Will Save Us.
You flinched.
Wow...
This is the first time he ever said something to you. It was surely a progress for your friendship.
You stared at him with wide eyes for a moment before shifting your attention back to the tail. You shrugged with your shoulders, your face had a relaxed smile.
— I don't know who the Prototype is, but if they helped you somehow, I think they're my saviour too. You're like a home to me.. I can't even imagine what would it be like living without you here!
You chuckled, patting the fluffy tail while Cat Nap looked at you with the same stare. However, something in his eyes changed... Maybe his gaze gained a little more... softness?
He stared at you until you fell asleep on him again. A few minutes of him sinking into his thoughts have passed, the toy putted his head on his paws, wrapping his tail around you like a blanket and soon enough closing his eyes. You would call it the same night-time scenario with Cat Nap in the next morning, because you didn't know that he was comfortably purring, nuzzling himself into your warmth last night...
Notes: OH MY GOD I DID IT :D I'll maybe do part 2, but without promises
Anyways, thank you for wasting your time reading my first-ever-made English fanfic. Do write me some comments about my errors if you find any, I will appreciate it since it'll improve my writing skills.
Have a nice day/evening/night!😘
Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Godric Gryffindor/Salazar Slytherin, Godric Gryffindor & Salazar Slytherin, Godric Gryffindor & Harry Potter Characters: Godric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin, Harry Potter Additional Tags: Drabble Collection, Incorrect Quotes, Not Beta Read, How Do I Tag, Idiots in Love, godric is an idiot, Salazar loves him anyway, but he doesn't know, Salazar is also an idiot, One Shot Collection, Some Humor, Some angst, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Summary:
A few short stories/drabbles which are inspired by incorrect quotes generator, or just ideas from my head.
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OmG. I totally forgot to write, that I did that. I’m trying to write fanfiction in English. (Mother Tongue is German) So Check this out if you need more Salazar/Godric. (There is not enough of them, so I have to write myself.)
Small aesthetic of Othello Von Ryan