The Music Will Always Save Me

familiar is only an ache.

— Scott-Patrick Mitchell, from "inner pity poems," Clean: Faith, Abuse and George Pell

i don't know if anyone needs to hear this, but in case someone does... if you were abusive as a child, and adults in your life knew about it but did nothing to stop you, encouraged you, or maybe even forced you into it... that's neglect, and abuse in the latter case. they failed you. they failed you horribly, and they should have taught you better.

and if your abusiveness was impacted by experiencing abuse, trauma, or mental health concerns... the adults in your life should have been there for you. they should have genuinely supported you by helping you find ways to healthily manage what you were going through. they shouldn't have just let you hurt others, and likely destroy some of your relationships in the process.

yes. you are responsible for your actions, abuse included. but the adults in your life... they were still responsible for taking care of and teaching you. but they failed you, and i'm sorry they did. you (and those at the receiving end of your abuse) deserved much, much better. i hope by now, you've grown into a healthier person, and are able to have safe, fulfilling relationships.

but if not... let this be your sign to change. let this be your chance to grow. i promise you, whatever sense of control and power abuse gives you isn't at all worth the damage, pain, and suffering it leaves in its wake. if you don't believe me... you'll understand either once you change, or the consequences finally bite you in the ass.

[...] I’m so pathetically intense. I just can’t be any other way.

Sylvia Plath, The Letters of Sylvia Plath: Volume I: 1940 - 1956 — Edward Cohen, c. 11th September 1950

Spider plushies by plaything_co

shoutout to sysmates who feel disconnected from their system, or aren't liked by their system, or only have a few people they like in their system, etc.

“My life is made up of ‘I’m sorry’. I feel like I have to apologize to people, to things, to life itself. It’s like, ‘I’m sorry to be here’. I don’t want to disturb anyone.”

— Yohji Yamamoto

we diagnose you with a creeping sense of alienation forever. incurable

Persecutor culture is taking your time and learning to make connections and friends in a healthy way.

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