Unfortunately True. We Can't Let The Perfect Be The Enemy Of The Good, As Painful As It Can Be.

Just amazing stuff!

Art by xiaoyu huang

Y'know what? I'll reblog it, too!

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

First Tuesday of the month here.

And you can always tell when someone hasn't been living in the midwest and starts freaking out.

They also start freaking out when they hear about tornado watches. Tornado Watch? That just means that there's some weather going on. It's OK. Relax. Don't be dumb if we get actual funnel clouds, but just a watch? Chill. Chill.

I think my favorite culture shook conversation between myself and Joy happened when the first time she (British) was visited me (USA) for longer then a month.

Joy calling me at work in a panic: "WHY ARE THE BOMB SIRENS GOING OFF."

Me: "Oh yeah it's Wednesday."

Joy: "..."

Me: "..."

Joy: "THAT EXPLAINS NOTHING!"

This is how we got here, yeah.

My cartoon for the latest issue of New Scientist.

Heck yeah I'm reblogging. Note that a good swiss army knife will have a can opener, but you have to get used to using the old-fashioned kind.

What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

 sunscreen

 a travel alarm clock or watch

 mylar emergency blanket

 a backpack is a must

 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

 sleeping bag

 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

 swiss army knife

 can opener

Need to spread the word on this one.

I look at the world, and I say, "Why don't we try this? We can't really make things worse, can we? And this would be justice. This would be justice."

happy PRIDE i’m here i’m queer and i believe the land should be given back to the proper indigenous stewards.

I work with conspiracy theorists. This is 100% how it works.

The time I was mistaken for a visiting minster

So I was in the hospital today, and a patient said something to me, and we talked. (I stayed in the entryway to her room, not going in.) She told me about her conflicts with one of the nurses, and the guilt that she felt over having to call the techs in so often for help with pain management, and to adjust how she was sitting in her bed (she was a fall risk and wasn't allowed to move around on her own) and how her daughter had been in to see her, up from a small town nearby, and her daughter was very happy that she'd been eating-- chicken broth and Jell-O, but this was a big improvement from what she had been eating. She explained how she'd fallen at her house, and when she falls, she can't get up on her own, and she called for help, and here it was, four days later and she was still in the hospital, to her frustration. She mentioned her arthritis. And also how the doctors had told her that she had pneumonia. She showed me all the bruises on her arms, and told me how they'd had to bring in a special machine to find the veins in her arms so they could get an IV in her. And she told me about how scared she was that she would never be able to just swing her legs over the side of the bed again and get out of it. I told her that she needed to make sure that she kept eating; I wasn't sure what would happen, but she'd never heal if she didn't eat. And some time in there, it came up that she'd mistaken me for a visitation minister. I told her that I was there for another reason, but I was going to be back tomorrow, and I'd say hi. She was clearly uncomfortable, and a bit scared (if not wanting to show it), and wanted someone to talk to. And sometime in there, I had to explain that no, my wife and I were in the hospital visiting the room next to hers. The one my mother is in. I was in the hallway while my wife was talking to mom; she has a bacterial infection, and may be septic, so she's only allowed one visitor at a time, and there are rules that we have to follow to go in at all. So I was waiting outside her room. And maybe talking to a stranger turned out to be easier than worrying. My mother has autoimmune diseases. Not an autoimmune disease, not something as simple and well-known as lupus, but flocks of them-- the rheumatoid arthritis that crippled her older sister, and Sjogren's Syndrome, and obscure ones that only doctors in the Mayo Clinic have even heard of. She's had congestive heart failure, gastric MALT (a form of lymphoma in the stomach), and just had to have all of her teeth removed. She now has a bacterial infection; there could be sepsis. Her memory isn't great, and her husband is a wreck, dealing with this. And I'm keeping it together as best as best I can, somehow. She knows it's medically inadvisable, but that would not stop her from grabbing my hand. She craves touch. She needs contact with people, but feels isolated, now that she can't get around without a walker or a wheelchair. Her hands are so swollen with arthritis, I wonder how much it hurts her to use them. This is the thing about getting older. Everyone else does, too, with all the things that that entails. I guess it's something we all go through, if we're lucky. If we made it this far. If our parents did. If our friends did. But the great truth of life is that it doesn't last forever, and the longer we live, the more we see death around us. The more the people we love die. We're all scared of that. We use indirect language -- James Lacy passed on. The late Doug Atkinson. The fondly remembered Gil Pettigrew. The dearly departed Bonnie Kaufmann. But it's death, and it awaits us all. And it scares me. But we're all going to have to deal with that, sooner or later. I don't know. I'm rambling. But this is the story of how I was mistaken for a visiting minster, anyway. Maybe I should look into that line. I hear it's really rough work, but people need it.

I would so PAY TO SEE THIS AS A WEBCOMIC OR ANIMATION

The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin. They both looked down at the crumpled shape of the Overlord, His Unholy Majesty, in his obsidian armor.

His final spasms had been mesmerizingly acrobatic. The fall down the steps leading up to his iron throne had pretzelled his body quite impressively, both arms folded behind his back and one leg bent at a jaunty angle.

The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin.

"Shit," said the goblin.

"Shit," said the orc.

"We're likely to get blamed for this," the goblin said. She walked over to the head of the glittering mangled heap and started pulling the helmet off.

"It's not our fault," the orc said. "It's hard to help someone choking when they wear two-hundred pounds of spiked armor at all times."

"Yeah, well," the goblin grunted. The helmet came free, and the bald head of the Overlord bounced on the stone with a hollow, coconut noise. "You know how it is in this bloody country - thieves get their heads cut off so they can't think about thieving, and all that." She fished in the Overlord's mouth with a finger and pulled out the obstructing olive on the end of her claw.

She popped it into her mouth and chewed. "What do you reckon they do for a regicide?" she said.

"We should run," the orc said. She had started bouncing her leg. "I hear that there's some places in the Alliance where they just kill you and let you stay dead. That's got to be nicer than what'll happen if we stay here."

The goblin started to nod - and then her gaze fell on the helmet.

It looked like a pineapple designed by a deranged blacksmith. It was all thorns and spikes and hard edges, as though the maker had been very determined to not let pigeons roost on it. The only bits that weren't solid iron were eyeholes. Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face.

She held up the helmet and squinted from it to the orc. One of the thorns had been bent badly in the fall.

Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face...

"Right," she muttered. "Right. Could work - or."

The orc had a sudden vision of the immediate future. "No," she said.

"I mean you're about his height-"

"No."

"It would just be for a-"

"Absolutely not."

"Just hear me out," the goblin said. "Outside of this room are two-thousand men and orcs and goblins who are absolutely gonzo about this man, and there's a whole country of them outside of the castle, and at any moment someone's going to walk in that door and see one dead tit in black armor and two unbelievably dead idiots next to him.

"Or." She tossed the helmet up like a basketball to the orc, who fumbled and tried to find somewhere to hold it that wasn't a knife's edge. "We chuck him out the window now, walk out the door in the armor, and ditch the armor as soon as nobody sees us."

The orc had started bouncing her leg again. "They'll know something's up the second I walk out of the room."

"No worries," said the goblin. "Leave that to me."

---

It had been a very strange year for the Empire.

Change had rolled across the land as slow and inevitable as a glacier. Roads and bridges carved the gray, blasted wildlands, and a number of social reforms had made the country a place where you could be miserable, yes, but miserable in comfort and safety, and that was an improvement.

Barely anyone got boiled alive in molten metal, and even if the disgusted sun never rose to light the Empire, at least you had a roof over your head to protect yourself from the acid rain.

"Your empire flourishes, Your Unholy Majesty," the magician said over her wine glass. She looked down from the tower's balcony over the gleaming stone battlements. Some work had been done to line the castle and surrounding city with sizzling, crackling alchemical lights at night. The whole thing glowed like something dangerously radioactive.

The suit of armor waved a languid, glittering gauntlet over to the goblin, who bowed.

"His Abominable Gloriousness Thanks You," the goblin recited. "The Prosperity Of His Empire Can Only Be Achieved Through The Prosperity Of His People."

"If I may be so bold, I am quite pleased that you had chosen to take my counsel under consideration," said the magician. "We have accomplished many things together."

Another wave. Another bow. "The Overlord, May His Presence Swallow The Sun And Stars, Thanks You As Well."

"It was quite gratifying to see you change your mind, after so many centuries of denial." The wine was swirled. "Tell me, what was it that finally gave you cause to listen to me?"

There was the slightest hesitation. The goblin's eyes flicked to the armor, then to the magician. She puffed out her chest. "Do you question the wisdom of His Austere Lugubriousness?" she asked.

The magician looked at the goblin. She looked at the armor. She tipped her head back and drank the wine too quickly.

She looked back at the armor. "I know you're the orc, you moron," she said.

The room went deathly still. An alchemical light fizzled.

The orc pulled off the helmet, sending long, untied hair down tangling, and said: "How could you possibly-"

"Because you're both idiots!" the magician said. The goblin jumped. The orc jumped with a noise like a dropped stove. "What kind of a plan was this?! If it wasn't for me, you would have been turned into fertilizer months ago."

She closed her eyes. She took a long, dramatic breath. She set the wine glass down on the balcony rail.

"How did the Overlord die?" she asked when she seemed like she had gotten a hold over herself.

"Choked on an olive," said the goblin.

"Threw his body out the window," said the orc.

"You don't have to mention the window," said the goblin.

"Right," said the orc. "Sorry."

The magician looked out over the city, hand curled thoughtfully under her nose. "Who knows about this?"

"Just us. And, uh. You. Apparently."

"And why did you accept my counsel?"

The orc blinked. "Sorry?"

"Why did you accept my counsel?" the magician repeated.

"Well," the orc said. "Well - you seemed like you had good ideas-"

"Great ideas!" the goblin said with an edge of desperation. "Don't know why the old bastard didn't listen to you!"

"Right - right," said the orc. "And when we figured we were stuck doing this - well, it just made sense, really."

The magician seemed to absorb this. She nodded. "All right," she said, striding between the two and grabbing the crystal decanter.

"Um," said the orc. "Sorry. What happens now?"

"What happens is that you two will continue to serve as Overlord," said the magician. "You will continue to take my counsel. We will continue to reform this bloody country, and gods willing, we will turn it into the crown jewel of the world by next Midwinter."

The orc looked at the goblin. The goblin looked at the orc.

"Really?" the goblin asked.

"Oh yes," said the magician. "I've worked hard to be counsel to the Overlord, and I have no reason to stop now. And besides-"

She looked the orc up and down with a deliberate slowness, poring over every microscopic detail, eyes tracing over every jagged line, and grinned like a panther.

"You look much better in the armor than he ever did," she said. Dark robes swirled like a becleavaged thundercloud, and she strode out through the high iron doors, decanter in hand.

The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin.

"Shit," said the goblin.

"Shit," said the orc.