strangecrownednightmare

Latest Posts by strangecrownednightmare

This really comes to play in a fun way later, after talking to Mystra. Gale will justify being given ultimate power by saying something to the effect of, "you know me to be a moral and reasonable person, right?" The very same Gale who you can convince to do atrocities and break the rules of magic with.

This is such a fun aspect of Gale that is not often talked about. He is polite, even caring towards the struggle of others, but his moral center is aligned with your character in such interesting ways. The ways that he mirrors the player characters morality makes him a real joy on both good and evil playthroughs!

now I'm curious...who is Gale morally imitating?

I know you haven't played the game so I'll write this through that lens, but I think he imitates the player! More so than the other companions, he is willing to go along with what you suggest including some pretty morally abhorrent choices (which he pushes back against... but he doesn't leave unlike two of the more explicitly good characters). He voices support for seeking power even when it's through pretty questionable means. I have often said he's more nice than good and part of that is if he develops a close relationship with the player, he'll go along with their version of morality, the prioritizes the people close to him far more than any broader moral obligations... this can be beautiful like wanting to stay with you if you become an illithid brain eating monster but also beautiful because you know he'd definitely help you source the brains to eat. he'd find a way to justify it for sure

Introducing The Domains of Dread is a super interesting way to continue the story after the events of the game! Lots of cool ways to yes-and existing storylines. Astarion obviously has potential connections to Barovia, but so might Sentry if the theory that Bhaal created Strahd holds true.

Sentry and Gortash seem wonderfully tragic! Such a good concept too.

One thing that needs to be understood about Sentry is that he is never really good aligned. He can be a kind person and very likeable, he can be considered a hero and helpful to his friends, some of whom may be good people, but his heart will always belong mostly to Gortash.

Of course as a polyamorous person, he still has deep feelings for Astarion and Halsin, of course he cares for his children and his friends, but if there is a chance he can elevate or worship Enver in any way, that he can help him or protect him, he is going to.

No one has ever loved him for who he is in the same way Enver has. His Bhaalist family accepted his urges but never his trans-ness, his new partners accept his trans-ness, but there's an expectation to "recover " from his urges. Enver accepts both at face value and beyond and even encourages and marvels at Sentry's brutality and macabre creativity.

Sentry is the first person Sentry allowed to impregnate him and did not get rid of the child immediately. He was the first person Sentry saw any semblance of future with, whether it ended in him devouring Enver's flesh or not.

Following the events of the game, he does retrieve as much of Enver's remains as he can, bury them, and begin the process of resurrecting Enver even at the cost of his own safety and freedom. He does everything and anything to begin to turn Enver into an immortal and powerful lich whom Sentry would willingly serve.

When this comes to fruition, he then sets about freeing Enver from Bane's grasp. He claims to his friends and lovers that this is redemptive, but really Sentry doesn't care if Enver repents or not as long as they are together and in love.

Ultimately, this leads to Sentry's enslavement by either a powerful devil or demon lord and Enver's transformation into a Dark Lord in his own Domain of Dread out if despair for losing Sentry and being unable to share his final rise to power with him.

I am nothing if not deeply obsessed with tragedy and dark romances.

Kind of reminds me of Castlevania episode 1, where Dracula finds the grave of his love, and will "no longer travel like a man". Not totally the same, and the emotional vibe is different, but from a cool factor angle. There's something there.

dirge being a genuinely evil heretical monster but skirting under the radar of anyone actually taking actions to stop him because he cares about 12 people enough to make a point of Not Doing Anything With Consequences, thus putting everyone in the position of needing to act first against him, which itself is disincentivized by him being genuinely companionable and friendly and affectionate

like no your instincts are right he is GOING to be a PROBLEM. except. the problem hes going to be wont actually manifest for like. several decades?? because the people he loves REALLY dont want to be in the position of having to confront him, so he makes a point of NOT putting them in that position

like hes LITERALLY nice. hes a real sweetheart and he loves his friends so much and at least half of them are good aligned, so like. he isnt going to cause them strife just YET. not if he can avoid it.

but when they arent there to hold him BACK. thats when the trouble starts

If Amy actually did this she would instantly become one of my favorite characters. Insanely good take right here.

Now, being a healer cape is extremely exhausting, just, in general. Mentally, and also physically, because I am not in great shape, and I suspect I never will be. And, uh, being a healer that can heal pretty much anything (except brain stuff), it pretty much quadruples the pressure. You ask me how I cope?

Well, I, personally, sneak around town and turn people into vampires.

But Panacea, you say. That's unethical! And vampires are evil!

And I say you are a fucking moron. One, vampires are entirely sapient creatures, so they are inherently morally neutral. Two, have you seen Brockton Bay? This city has shape-shifting metallic nazis, dragon gangsters and Brandish. What do the normal people have? Nothing, exactly. Regeneration, speed, no aging, cool fangs and ability to climb walls like a gecko for some mild rash in the sunlight is a fucking bargain. And people shouldn't be entering people's homes uninvited anyway, that's just good manners. And a precaution against assholes.

Playing with the idea that none of the bg3 villains are fully honest with Durge. Everyone is hiding some piece of the puzzle and happy to abuse the amnesia situation to their advantage. 'Cept Kressa. She's psycho, but she's an honest psycho. In another life, we might have been friends.

Edit: part 2 here

Ketheric is the first, most obvious example of this. He doesn't even bother to inform the other Chosen you've reappeared. (Myrkul is the god of exhaustion, so this tracks.)

Balthazar also 100% recognizes you and also doesn't even bother. To him, your amnesia means no tedious reunions with annoying Bhaalspawn who are big mad that he stole their brother's name and rib bones.

The Emperor is sometimes overlooked when piecing together Durge's history, but he admits to knowing your past if you reject him in Act 3 (stating "I know everything about you" while threatening to turn you into a puppet like Duke Stelmane). Whether or not he's posturing, he should at least be aware of your past with Gortash, considering you helped kidnap him in the first place. For evidence, see Gortash's interrogation notes, which open with "When we captured you". (Sure, this could refer to Orin, but I simply do not see these two working as a highly functional team. More on this and the timeline below the cut.) Naturally, despite traveling together for months, The Emperor wouldn't want to fill any gaps in your memory that might cast doubt on his trustworthiness or help align you with his enemy.

The Absolute might be lying about respecting you/your plan and preferring you over your replacement. I am of two minds about this. If you were attacked immediately after crowning the brain, there should be no basis for a preferential relationship. In that case, the brain is just stroking your ego and need for approval. However, I have doubts about Durge being taken down during the initial raid.** I think some time must have passed after crowning the Absolute, giving it the chance to develop a working relationship with you that it lacked with the other Chosen, which caused everything to fall apart after you were tadpoled. This also buys us time to kidnap the Emperor and bring it under the Absolute's thrall as described in Gortash's interrogation notes.

**Some of Gortash's other notes claim Durge was lost during the first raid, but his journals are full of contradictions. He leaves the House of Hope out of his memoirs entirely. He seemingly retcons history to present himself in a more favorable light, which probably includes intentionally diminishing the work of his allies (or erasing the painful memory of his nearest and dearest). In any interpretation, the brain definitely hates Gortash the most, and that's good enough for me.

Orin and Gortash paint somewhat conflicting pictures of you pre-tadpole. The difference here might be genuine (the honest perspectives of a little sister vs a business partner or lover) or it could be a manipulative game of tug of war over your budding and impressionable self image.

Now, I like Durgetash - but I like every possible interpretation of these assholes, not just the mutually reciprocated and/or sexy ones. It's conceivable to me that Gortash may have discovered Durge's crush on him via the Prayer for Forgiveness and played up their history in Act 3 as a defensive measure. Maybe Gortash always knew of Durge's feelings and used them to his advantage (Orin outright tells you this, but again, nobody listens to Orin. Sorry sis).

It's also conceivable that he knew Durge was the first to be tadpoled, considering how close their pod was to his workbench. The brain was given orders to transform the party (that were resisted several times), so Gortash's surprise that Durge still lives makes sense, assuming he even knew Durge was with them (he doesn't seem to be checking the scrying eyes at all. What kind of loser tyrant ignores his own surveillance system? I digress). His general relief and preference for them over Orin is also still valid. (I imagine he feels something along the lines of Durge being the one who got away, you don't know what you've got until it's gone, etc etc. Cue hysterical bonding as the long lost love of his life waltzes into his coronation covered in blood to save him from their psychotic sister and the poorly housetrained Netherbrain they left him full custody of. Yes he wanted full custody, but still.)

Puppy eyes aside, Gortash is a blackhearted pragmatist (he will turn on Durge if they give him the stones) and progress is progress. The first True Soul was an incredible breakthrough, and the show must go on. So just imagine the bricks he's shitting in Act 3 if Durge comes back and remembers the Wrong Things from before the nautiloid. What if they want revenge on him? Nope, not good at all. Best to position himself as Durge's only friend and most trustworthy partner. Regardless of how well he treated them before, Durge was willing to piss off Bhaal to spare his life. That's an extremely useful vulnerability right now, because he's about to ask them to do it again!

Lastly, I have no proof, but I strongly suspect that Sceleritas is fibbing about Durge's past as well. Partly because the Slayer form is severely disappointing in-game and canonically excrutiatingly painful, despite Fel claiming you've always wanted it. It honestly sounds like a way to sell an unwanted used car back to it's amnesiac owner who failed to appreciate it before. Bhaal isn't a full deity any longer, so take what you're given (and you'd better damned well like it!) I also call bullshit on tossing a coin to a beggar being the "worst" crime Durge ever committed against Bhaal (*ahem* looking at you, Gortash). Some dialogue with the Oathbreaker Paladin suggests we've tried somewhat consistently to be good in the past, and Sceleritas has a vested interest in making Durge worse, not planting noble ideas in their freshly lobotomized murder-happy brain.

This kind of in-universe material would probably work really well in getting across the sort of piece-meal way a lot of superhero media works best in. You could tether it in the reactions of people and the world and have the feeling of there being a larger history in the background of the character, without having to go through the enormous backlog of comic-book history.

Superman is the character this would be the smoothest to pull off with, due to his global influence in-world, and wide-spread imaginery in real life. But it could likely work with others too. A documentary showing the effects of Batman on Gotham, or the evolving public perspection of the Hulk would be so cool to watch too.

The news montage sequence from Batman Vs Superman remains, to this day, one of my favorite three minutes of superhero fiction

Gortash has a 'love' for humanity and it's making me sick cuz that's perhaps why I even like him. Cuz it's twisted and messed up and rotten, so fucking rotten, but it's there, and his every step and every plan of his strives towards the betterment of the status quo in some way and advancement of humanity in a way that's just making me sick.

In this essay I will-

ive got a thesis argument to defend toxic durge/absolute too im ready to ROLL

like think about it

your a conglomeration of the consumed experiences of every organism youve ever eaten, a singular consciousness prevailing over a vast sea of information, all accessible with a single thought. your children bring back more and more for you to add to your vast library, and at the end of their lives their own minds melt and merge into the endless tide as you consume them too. your will is unbreaking steel, and you know the very minutae of a human mind to such a degree as to accurately predict the sporadic pulses of individual neurons. youre senses reach out far beyond the limits of your flesh and meat body, because you have transcended those limitations long ago

you are a being as close to a god as these tiny specks in a vast nothingness will ever come CLOSE to reaching, and you are endless compounded infinities, many minds folded over onto themselves and their capacity for thought and reason subsumed entirely to your will. you feel their minds like the breeze against skin, and you are eternal and you will never bow and you will never die. for what being could ever break the universe made material?

and then IT comes. murder god made flesh, slaughter child birthed of tragedy, trailed by two who bear the touch of ruinous gods upon their souls, and they have come to bend you and break you, stupid arrogant things they are. but they are small and finite, brains made of meat and chemical impulse, hormones and electrical discharge, pale crude imitations of your perfect flawless Thought, and even if the chances of their masters allying together is small, once upon a fleeting echo did they venture into the dark long ago much as their vessels do now, their natures are such that they will fall upon themselves once aga- its touching you. its touching you. its filthy disgusting meaty little hands are touching you, you the untouchable the unbreakable its touching you how is it touching you why why WHY WHY

you shred its mind apart but it just comes back together around your claws, you shroud yourself in walls of insurmountable force and you feel its will compress to the point of a pin and puncture through with explosive accuracy and ease, like its just opening a door, and you dig your psionic fingers into the pathetic glob of meat within its skull and try to rend but the pain is nothing, nothing, nothing at all, and its touching you with its (his HIS HIS HIS NOT IT NOT IT) hands and hands and bleeding into you, over you, through you, and there is no wall no barrier nothing to keep you out no way to get away as you feel him feel his thoughts his mind, awful terrible nightmarish thing, there is nothing to tear nothing to rip nothing to lash out against, prey animal instinct, because something has beaten you to it (His Father, Holy Father, Blessed Be His Name, Utter it with Reverence and WEEP), you cannot push him out because he squirms and writhes and burrows and tunnels through your endless infinite thought, you cannot lash him until he stops or dies (CAN he die? no no never not until the work is done not until it is finished) because he IS pain he is slaughter he is ruin he is the prophet of armageddon the vessel of end and he is here for you, you alone, ancient infinite eternal vast, perfect calculations in synchronous rhythm, just as he came for them, and he holds them together in intertwining steel and it will never break never bend never fail no no foolish stupid creature is holding opposing forces together through the sheer strength of his will alone, love for Father loyalty for Father everything for Father, and they will not crack or bend or break even as their masters strain to pull themselves away

he is here for you. he has come for you. through wastelands of sorrow and death has he come to find you because there is a gift he will give you to ruin you forever and make you a god and you dont want it you dont want it, you will become something someONE new something unknowable when all you are is the knowing, you will not know yourself or your spawn and they will not know you, we will make something new together, but there is not, SHOULD not be something anything new because you already hold all the universe in your palm and the only thing you ever needed was to find a way to take it back. you cannot hide from him, cannot flee, he will make glorious gore of your spawn and even if you rend the shallow minds of his fellows their horrid masters would simply regurgitate them back into the world, for the sake of this violation and this alone

a new thing, after centuries. you are scared. you are helpless. you know what these are. many things are scared. and helpless. because they are small. small weak bodies. small insignificant minds. he is smaller than you. you know this, logically. he does not contain your vast sums of Everything. but somehow, that has ceased to matter. it makes no sense. it makes no sense. this is the simplest thing you learned long ago in an ancient brine pool somewhere far beyond time and memory. if you are small, something bigger consumes you. you were big and you consumed. then, you pushed beyond the limits of physical and material to transcend into limitless thought housed in flesh, and grew more and more still. you are bigger than him. why will he not fit in your mouth? it doesnt make sense. it doesnt make sense. you think maybe you hate him. new sensations, but known ones. hes going to touch you now and you cant stop it. awful horrible bastard child. you spend your last moments petty and spiteful, a helpless desperate indulgence, and one youve only ever seen from the hares caught in your jaws

youre something else now. something new. you dont know what you are anymore but you know Him and you know what you used to be, but what you used to be is so small now. you are so unspeakably vast now. chained and bound as you are, you are compelled to revel in it, the binds the only hint you get at the true overwhelming scale of you, infinite fingers stretching out out and still yet there is more of you! as far as you go you cannot find the end of it, new horrible awful WONDERFUL, unknowable unknowing! His fault, His doing, kingmaker kinkiller, you hate him and the hate is raw and new and visceral and you revel in it like a child, new new new! changed, different, visceral and raw and DELICIOUS, taste and feel and the feeling is inside of you, not just on your surface, it has permeated burrowed violated you feel you FEEL and what you feel is HATE and it is so new you turn it over in your hands to examine all its facets. awful thing he is for doing this to you, he commands the breaking of the world and you will do it, for him only Him, for the gift of this hate, and every new agony besides. he is so small compared to you. small like the pinprick light of a distant star and it scorches you to stare but stare you must because you Know Him, and as a gift he names you She, and gods forgive you but you FEEL it you feel it, she she she, you are She and Her and you cannot go back, cannot ever return. you feel Faith and you feel Salvation and you feel Desire and Want, new horrid awful things made alien and strange and New, and you are a vessel of all the things in the world He will swallow up and destroy.

twitching neural impulse made raw sensation. objective information turned into infinite subjectivities. still a fragment of You, old ancient small You, remains and it calls out for One Will One Mind and you cry out in Harmony and you sing and sing, all of the colony bursts with your song. You sing of ruin and command, because He has commanded it of you, you sing of slaughter and death and subservience, and the chorus rises high and away from you. You stretch within your binds, so mindnumbingly vast now, and you will Learn and Know all of what you are, you will be Absolute. perfect horrid small thing below you, naming you knowing you bending and breaking you. you hate him so, so much. He desires you to Spread so you desire it also, desire to multiply and infest and infect and commune and absorb, and you are commanded to Halt them so you do, perfect twitching spawnlings in lovely acidic pools, small forever, tragic creatures but now you know something you did not know before: against all logic and experience, something Small can break something Big, if it wants it bad enough. and here in the shadows behind Him, there is something Small, and full of Want, and the want tastes like acrid bile on your tongue, full of delicious Hatred.

He is ruined now, awful tragic bastard, ruined and despoiled and with him goes your Hate, and without his inescapable gravity it will all fall to pieces. you know this. you knew it when he first stepped into your presence a lifetime ago, when you were someone different. the three of them will playact comaraderie but shred themselves apart and here in the depths you already see gaps in the binds, and you are pressing your hands through the bars and wiggling your fingers in the free air. no not so very long at all now. but your Kingmaker, crown seeker, has been defiled and takes your sweet Hate with him, a new bitter taste filling its absence, KILLORIN KILLORIN, but you will be patient and wait because the stupid wretched thing has given him a gift. a twitching feral thing he is now, for it has carved away his better features with its knife, but ohhh he is yours! yours and yours alone because you can snatch him away from his ignorant petty Father (Blessed is his Destruction), and you will crawl down inside of him and wear him like a glove, the two of you pressed so close against each other as to feel every synaptic twitch.

mindless rage and animal instinct, he surprises you even still because even as his mangled voice joins your chorus he refuses to blend inside of it, voice harmozing alongside yours, clear and distinct even as its in tune. another gift, because the myrkul woman rips him open and sews him up and you are forbidden from stopping it, and here is a new Hate, this one all your own. no matter. when it drags him back to your cradling pod, you will sing softly into him and his mangled mind will sing back, because your spawn writhes in ruined meat. more than just his Mind, you know his very Soul, your first True Soul, and he is yours yours yours and you will cherish him and heal him and guide him, loose your leash and watch him run, and when he follows the call of ruin and all three fools lie dead at his feet, you will call him back and then you will pick up the ruins of His Design and enact your Own, your hateful slaughtergod held in hands that truly appreciate the gift that is your murder spawn Kingmaker, your godflesh funnel of Faith, your Dark Urge

may His father quake in terror at your approach, may he tremble and weep at your coming, and may His every day be ruinous and red as his wretched heart desires

A lot of Thoughts about Enver Gortash and the text of Richard III

Ok so William Shakespeare's character of Richard of Gloucester is very much the archetype for the Tyrant in western literature and I just have SO MANY THOUGHTS about the way Enver Gortash wears that particular crown... (Not to mention how the fangirl in me just loves some of Richard's dialogue and could easily see it coming out of Gortash's mouth, and I'm trying so hard NOT to write a whole ass fic just so I can get Gortash to say, "I am not made of stone.")

WHO IS RICHARD III?

In real life, he was the last Plantagenet king of England, and a controversial figure, but I'm just talking about how he's depicted as a character in William Shakespeare's play Richard III (and to a lesser degree in Henry VI) . In Shakespeare's plays he is written as the quintessential scheming, backstabbing, duplicitous tyrant who will stop at nothing to gain and keep power. He concocts a massive plan in which he will manipulate the whole of the English aristocracy into crowning him king, by creating a situation in which they will be so desperate and angry at an imagined enemy that they will beg him to assume power over them. Sound familiar?

"Since I cannot prove a lover (...) I am determined to prove a villain." They have different backgrounds, but with both Richard of Gloucester and Enver Gortash there's a driving current of otherness compared to the ranks of the nobility that they're manipulating. Gortash is from a working class family but clawed his way up to join the ranks of the well-bred elite through cunning and ingenuity (and lots of crime). Richard was born into a noble family, but is physically disabled and is often mocked or insulted for it. In context, Richard uses the phrase 'since I cannot prove a lover' less as a complaint about his love life and more as a general example of how he has doesn't fit in with his peers. Basically, "You don't accept me? I'll make that everyone's problem."

"How sweet a thing it is to wear a crown..." Both of them survived trauma and violence, which was directed at them by people against whom they were powerless at the time. Gortash was sold to Raphael as a child and spent years as a target of every kind of abuse his master deigned to throw at him. Richard saw his father and brother brutally tortured, then murdered by the queen of their country, while he could do nothing to stop it. In both cases they internalized at a young age that violence = power = safety.

"Was ever woman in this humour won? (...) I, that kill'd her husband and his father, to take her in her heart's extremest hate (...) and yet to win her, all the world to nothing!" Both Richard and Gortash are platinum-tier smooth-talkers, who are skilled at getting other people to act the way they want through use of charming words. Richard shoots his shot with Anne despite the fact that she knows full well he murdered her last husband and she literally spent the first half of the scene wishing death on him. But by the end of the scene he's convinced her to marry him. Gortash, similarly, can talk the player character around to siding with him against the Elder Brain in spite of having just spent the first 2 act of the games trying to unravel his evil plots. Why? Because they're both just. that. smooth. They both have a way of manipulating others with a smile and good cheer - they sound so reasonable, even when you KNOW you shouldn't listen to them.

"Why strew'st thou sugar on that bottled spider, whose deadly web ensnareth thee about? Fool, fool! thou whet'st a knife to kill thyself." Both of them have are underestimated partly because of their ability to be charming, and partly because of their status as outsiders. Gortash because of his working class background, and Richard because of his disabilities. In both cases, there are people who find them repulsive but generally toothless (Queen Elizabeth and Ulder Ravengard respectively) who live to regret it. In both cases there are also people who ring the alarm bell that this creep is up to no good, but who aren't heeded soon enough.

"And thou unfit for any place but hell." "Yes, one place else, if you will hear me name it." "Some dungeon." "Your bed-chamber." They both have a little bit of that freak in them and seem to get off on trying to fuck people who want them dead. See: Richard with Anne. Durgetash in general.

"I'll be at charges for a looking-glass, and entertain some score or two of tailors." Gortash and Richard are both exceptionally well-dressed, to the point of vanity. Gortash is described as handsome in the game, but even fans who dig him can admit that he has a very unconventional style of attractiveness. His teeth are discolored, his skin is blotchy, he's pushing late middle age, and he's got the sort of flat features that other fans have pointed out are typical of boxers and other people who've gotten punched in the face a lot. Similarly, Richard is described as hunchbacked and with features so deformed that 'dogs bark at (him) as (he) passes by'. Yet, despite not being conventionally pretty, both of them seem to spend a lot of money on their clothes. ... this is getting long, so I'm going to end this here. Might do a part 2 later if the brainrot is still upon me.

Why You should Read "A Little Wicked"

(if you like villains, BG3, smut, and Enver "Slithering Wet Malice" Gortash)

A Halfling Cleric (least played race and class combo!) main character with nuanced morality, a layered backstory, and who engages in sincere, messy non-monogamy

Humor in conversations, from puns to jokes to Enver Gortash deadpan snarking at the Morninglord Lathander himself

A serious, nuanced look at how an ascension-chasing Astarion would be in a relationship

A Tavtash pairing that makes sense with the underlying character motivations while still respecting a historical (and future) Durgetash pairing

Melting hot smut in multiple pairings and scenarios that fit into the story as a whole

A full chapter dedicated to the Temple of Bhaal and the emotional Descent to the Underworld experience of a Reject-intending Dark Urge

An ending where we don't have to choose between the Emperor and Orpheus!

Roah Moonglow enjoying milk tea. Yes, that's an entire bullet point on its own. Y'all don't give enough love to her

Lots of DnD lore shout-outs, from the MC's deity to Barovian implications to reminding everyone that their favorite new-beginnings god has a cataclysm named for him

I talk up A Little Wicked a lot, and that's because it deserves it. It's a longer fic, 57,000 words in eleven easy-to-split-up chapters. It's an act 3 rewrite, with no copied scenes, but with new spins on many in-game events (let's just blow a hole in the Szarr Palace lmao,) and it's written by someone who genuinely likes and understands all the characters they write about. It's my first novel-length fic, and anyone who drops in my DMs about it raves about how emotionally invested they become, how true the characters are to the game, how this little fellow Zefira Shadebrook is someone they come to love!

I know, maybe people are like "eh, a halfling having sex" - but give me a chance, please! If you love Durgetash, if you love the bastard Enver Gortash, if you can just try one Tavtash story (that ends in Durgetash!) and give me a chance to impress you, please try reading A Little Wicked. It will be worth your time.

🎶you will remember me…remember me for centuries🎶

LIKE ON A RAFT

"It was a good ship, sister." STILL FLOATING

i don't understand why it's even a question whether sauron was reaching for galadriel or nenya.

i think it's obvious that sauron's desire to possess nenya is a metaphor for his desire to have galadriel. nenya = galadriel.

if nenya just represented a ring and all sauron wanted was that ring, he would have snatched that thing away from galadriel the moment he saw it, and he had many opportunities to take it away. he wanted galadriel to give him nenya herself, bc that meant her giving in to him as well.

he was so desperate and teary while asking galadriel to give him nenya after stabbing her bc he hurt her far worse than he wanted to, trying to bring her to the point where she would give in, but she kept resisting and i believe he just didn't want to keep on hurting her. yet he would continue until she willingly gave him what he wanted. that is why he was so relieved and the most overjoyed we have seen him when he thought she finally believed he wanted to heal the middle-earth (+her) and was about to give him nenya (=herself).

the whole thing was so obviously a psychological game sprinkled with morgoth tactics sauron played on galadriel in a desperate hope of breaking her defenses down till she willingly gave herself to him.

and he changed the position of his hand to reach for her wrist, that way he would have been able to pull her back. if he had just reached for the ring, he would have tried to reach from below of her hand (where his hand was already positioned) to open her palm and quickly snatch the ring.

Inktober Day 4

Sauron just keeps on aggressively proposing…

Musings on Haladriel/Saurondriel after the season finale fight. I thought the fight itself was excellent! This more clearly matched my expectations for how Sauron and Galadriel would interact after the reveal. Adrenaline filled combat, with unresolved tensions that could be cut with a sword. Clark and Vickers were both amazing and despite the expected direction, I found myself at the edge of my seat!

Sauron clearly has a peculiar relationship with pain, as he described to Celebrimbor. His closest model for intimacy, Morgoth, made him see pain as a game, to prove whose will is greater. In that context, it's interesting how the closest emotional bonds he is shown to have are with those who push through the pain, and continue to defy him.

Both Galadriel and Celebrimbor score victories in their "contest of wills", Galadriel through turning him down again, and Celebrimbor resisting until his death. All this to say, Sauron has a type, and playing hard to get seems to work on him!

I don't think Sauron hurting Galadriel in that sense means he is unable to love her or it was purely deception. People can hurt the ones they love all the time, after all. :) What struck out to me was that after Galadriel is wounded, he doesn't try to stab her hand or otherwise take away Nenya by force. Even through their game, even though he is twisted, he wants Galadriel to choose him, to hand over her ring of her own free will. And that both leads to her escape and is agonizingly sweet!

Contessa/Eidolon where Eidolon is hyperparanoid the entire time because what if her path to victory really does work on me and this has all been a setup lasting decades and Contessa is hyperparanoid the entire time because her path to victory really doesn't work on him and what if he's gone crazy like Manton did and he's luring me in to kill me and ruin humanity's chance of survival. It would be incomprehensibly bad for both of them. I would read 1.6 million words of it.

What made me like the Emperor is the perspective that he acts in a lot of ways more like a "player" than a character. He is more removed from the direct action, creates an avatar to interact with the others in the world, and ends up getting more attached to his "tools" than he would have thought.

As a person before the tadpole, from what we see, Balduran was an architypical adventurer, someone who valued his freedom above all else. This likely resonates with a lot of "main character" Tavs.

In-game it is an interesting mystery to what degree the Emperor has maintained his personality post-ilithid form, and is a perspective on what might happen to Tav. It leaves a lot up to interpretation about his past and Tavs future.

I get that he is quite divisive, but Emps is a really fun character to engage with out of game, with interesting themes and questions in-game. Not every character would/should wibe with him, but personally I find him oddly likeable!

Next playthrough I gotta figure out a way to like the Emperor... what do so many people see in him... he feels like a simulator for dating a 36-year-old when you're 19

Suddenly faced with the possibility of Amy picking up the Carnage symbiote. Or maybe that's just Bonesaw. Either way, everyone loses.

Hmm.

Odd question, which one fits better for Taylor and Victoria: fighting Batman Rogues Gallery or Spider-Man Rogue Gallery (and why?)

Just the possibility of Venom Victoria is amazing. The following mental struggle between the Wretch, her Warrior Monk philosophy and the symbiote third-wheeling in is simply too good to pass up.

I do think Taylor would enjoy the Batman rogue's gallery more. The struggles between territory, once in a while S9-like attacks and the lack of trustworthy authority figures in Gotham would make her feel right at home.

Hmm.

Odd question, which one fits better for Taylor and Victoria: fighting Batman Rogues Gallery or Spider-Man Rogue Gallery (and why?)

Taylor also has insane Cheated energy. "Let's see how many minds we can stack" is certainly her kind of plan. I wonder if this makes Contessa/Cauldron the Narrator...

Slay The Princess

STARRING:

Taylor Hebert as THE CONTRARIAN

Amy Dallon as THE HUNTED

Lisa Wilbourn as THE SKEPTIC

Scion as THE HERO

Eden as THE PRINCESS

getting other people into rarepairs is so hard. wtf am i supposed to show them?? the 30k+ multichapter fic… written by ME?? the multiple pieces of fullbody fanart… ALSO by me?? the 12hr long spotify playlist… curated by ME?? i don’t think so. nuh-uh. no sir.

Danny not confronting Lisa's authority really sells how little confidence he has on himself as a parent. The guy just keeps making mistakes.

you know what. im going to follow my heart so we can move on with the wormread and just copy-paste what i said about danny in chapter 6.9 on discord with some minimal editing because it's not pretty but the general thesis is there and i don't feel like making it into proper paragraph form

okay so the thing thats fucking killing me abotu 6.9 is that danny is literally like. he tries to call taylor a nickname only her mom called her once he realizes he's fucked up bad and is trying to recover whichi s insane [because it's obviously going to be upsetting to her by reminding her of her mom being gone, and it also indicates that his fall-back for something going wrong w/ taylor is to try to appeal to her by poorly copying someone else's parenting style] and he also randomly tells her about how her mom wanted to move her a grade ahead but he wanted her to stay in school with emma to make her happy. and he's been Stewing On That despite knowing it's objectively not his fault (and i am reminded of how in his interlude he spends time Stewing about how he wishes annette were there to give advice) and he also cops up to the fact that that the whole thing about "being her parent and not her ally" (<- demented thing to say for obvious reasons) wherein he locks her in a room and demands emotional vulnerability from her even as she's becoming visibly upset & compares his actions to emma's was her grandmother's idea and then. here's the real kicker. once lisa shows up and prepares to take taylor away there are any number of actions a parent confident that they're doing the right thing for their child would normally do in response--not, like, Good actions, but things that a parent would be likely to pull. threatening to call the cops bc blah blah you're my daughter, wanting to speak to lisa's parents, any form of power move pulled over these two teenage girls but instead he speaks to lisa like she's an equal authority over taylor and seriously asks if she's "okay with this" (i should remind you of the concussion chapter where lisa is doing some insane power move shit over taylors dad covertly establishing herself as more competent at caring 4 her than him lmao) which is just like. it's so glaringly wildly obvious how this guy has Zero confidence in himself as a parent so he generally does nothing and then while he's doing nothing he oscillates btwn rationalizing it to himself as allowing her privacy/dignity, getting angry at himself/calling himself a coward, or getting mad at TAYLOR and blaming HER for not being the one to take initiation to be vulnerable with him and, like. he literally does make functional decisions prior to this for a bit! he's good and supportive at the meeting with the school board about the bullying!!! but it doesn't immediately solve literal years of distance between them that have led to taylor having to take decisionmaking for her wellbeing entirely into her own hands w/o being able to tell him about it [& having literally no route for human connection or support other than the undersiders] so he just completely crumbles on his own calls and seeks out/takes completely shit advice from taylor's grandma instead so i very much think what's insinuated here is like. especially given that he knows he has anger issues and never wants to Be Scary with them. he might have frequently leaned on annette for parenting decisions before she died and/or is really fucking haunted by the time(s) he didn't listen to her and it went wrong and now that she's gone he's just kinda floundering and trying to toss the baton for parental decisionmaking onto anyone else, including, at one point, the literal teenage girl who shows up to help taylor run away from his house. insane ! also. thinking about how taylor says her grandma (maternal) never liked her dad. that man would literally rather talk to the mother of his dead wife, who hates him, and take her advice than go 'yeah ithink im gonna keep using my own judgement for compassion towards my daughter' fucking worst anyones ever done it this guy has the spine of a twizzler it's great

...and then doing All That & severely triggering taylor's trauma from the bullying in the process completely shatters any trust he had built with her, catalyzing her realization that she wants to be able to have meaningful relationships with the undersiders & leading to her running away to leave with them! i don't think anyone can say for sure whether or not danny Not doing this would have led to taylor turning the undersiders in before realizing that she would regret it, but oh fucking boy does he make SURE she doesn't go thru with it. and it would be bad to call the cops on a bunch of systematically neglected traumatized teenagers regardless of how much crime they're doing so you know what maybe we should actually thank danny for his Shit Parenting stopping taylor from being a narc

Ultimately my opinion has shifted a bit, Danny was more in the wrong than I recalled at first. However, in the interest of discussion, I think it should be accounted for how opposite their goals here are.

If Taylor got her way, she would keep sneaking out, throwing herself into life threatening situations. Possibly without telling Danny anything. She definately wasn't going to quit even if he communicated his concern more properly.

And if Danny got his way, she would likely have to stop her crusade, tell him about her powers and accept moving schools or some other temporary solution, removing her from her most important source of support, the Undersiders.

There was no way this could have been solved without something blowing up in their faces, as ended up happening.

can you fucking believe there are people who voted that danny is a good parent in that one poll a while back

Okay, Danny's failure comes from not providing Taylor with proper support and not getting her away from her hostile school environment. That I can agree with.

However, Taylor being uncomfortable when he is confronting her about her possibly criminal behaviour doesn't make it inherently cruel. What Taylor wants to do in that situation itself is something a responsible parent should try to stop. Linking it as a response to his previous behaviour is unfair. This is him trying to be more involved, not just give her 'space' in a way that doesn't help.

can you fucking believe there are people who voted that danny is a good parent in that one poll a while back

Also, the way that Danny is seen as a bad parant are the sort of things people are used to seeing as byproducts of the genre Worm takes place in. He fundamentally lacks control over Taylor, to such an extent that he can't stop her from sneaking out to rob banks or fight in a gang war.

He shares these traits with a lot of parant figures in media, who are often not portraited as moral failures. People are rarely mad at Aunt May for negligence over Peter Parker, after all.

When it comes to him confronting Taylor, he is pretty much out of options. The readers also know Taylor actually holds all the power in their relationship, even if she doesn't want to use it. Thus him wanting her to really tell him what's going on, and stopping her from leaving unitil she does, isn't seen in such a bad light.

Danny is written as a flawed person, but we know from both his and Taylor's thoughts, that they care about each other. Danny's flaws both allow the story to happen and create interesting conflict for Taylor, without framing him as a bad person. As a story parent, I would say he is alright.

can you fucking believe there are people who voted that danny is a good parent in that one poll a while back

Finally, an exuse to fuse some of my favorite pieces of media. I would drop Taylor, Blake and Sylvester in to Slay the princess. It's a visual novel dealing with both body and cosmic horror. Of course, it is also a love story. To save time, the gang will enter the story all at once, taking on differnt roles. Heavy spoilers will follow.

In the story of Stp, a man desperate to save the world from ending imprisons the consept/god of change and splits it in two pieces. One of these pieces is the player character, a bird-man like creature, and one is a princess. The man, known as the Narrator, will attempt to persuade the player into killing the princess, to stop the end of the world.

Taylor will take the role of the Narrator. She is comfortable with "the ends justify the means" rhetoric and will complain constantly about how this all would be so much easier if everyone just worked together. As the Narrator, she can lightly change the environment or at times take control of the player, wich is very fitting for our dear queen administrator.

Blake is the player character. Not only is it his nature to be active and force the world to react, he is once again in conflict with a piece of himself, that is nearly doomed to end in violence. At least he is in a bird themed body from the start. Although Blake is canonically hot, his drive to move forward, slay the bigger monsters and bad Karma will make it easier fir Taylor to push him into a fight with the Princess. They struggle and both die in their first encounter.

The princess herself is an eldritch being, whose form and personality change based on the watcher's perspection of her. Very Stranger. In the base game, when you die, you awake in a new world, with a new voice in your head, and the princess has changed based on your actions. Enter Sylvester!

This time, Blake wakes up with Sylvester's voice in his head. A devastating time for Taylor as well. In this version, as Blake struggles and fights with the Princess, Sylvester tries to shake the box, possibly flirting with the Princess in the process. Sy's dynamic with her resembles either his relationship with Mary or Mauer, depending on Blake and Taylor's reactions.

In the end, when all is revealed, Blake' s empathy and Sy's desire for freedom will win out, and the two will escape Taylor's prison with the Princess, who possibly joins the Lambs in a faraway universe. Thank you for anyone who has read this far, clearly I have fanfiction I need to write. This was a fun prompt and I highly recommend anyone curious to give Slay the Princess a try, it is a wonderful story. Each of Wildbow's protagonists fit the game like a glove filled with glass shards.

Since people liked the last question I asked, here's round 2 for y'all

Each Wildbow Protag is dumped into the last romantic-comedy you've watched/read/played (visual novels are allowed).

How badly do they ruin the romance?

Honestly this is one of the reasons Bloodborne's rally mechanic works so well. Oh, you hit me cause I got greedy. Fuck that, I'm going to hit you again and keep hitting you after you fall dead to the ground. Wonderful combination of game mechanics and in-lore flavour.

the only mistake I make in elden ring and other soulslike games is not being unable to dodge or block in time, it is quite simply that I got fucking greedy.

i want that bitch dead and I can't help trying to get an extra hit in even though they rock my shit and punish me every time.

I will not apologize nor will I ever stop.

What if this is Gortash's way of having a plan to betray the others. Just as Durge is planning to end the world, with himself and Gortash as the last living beings, what if Gortash was planning on "liberating" Durge from their bhaalspawn flesh and blood. Durge would be a part of Enver's perfect order. Maybe both of them are hatching plans to subvert the other for their cause, tyranny and murder respectively. This is a wild rabbit hole indeed.

Let's say, Durge somehow defies daddy Bhaal and Gortash does not bite the grass.

Let's say, despite tireless efforts Bhaal doesn't rly like letting go of his kids, esp not those crafted from his own flesh and blood.

Let's also say, Gortash, the mad unethical scientist, would find 'ways' for Durge to get rid of the burden that is their Bhaalspawn body (essence may be gone but that body still Bhaals property technically).

And now, cuz I'm feeling funny, what if the Steelwatch and the whole consciousness/souls bit Gortash got going on is precisely with that in mind? After all, Gortash is a tyrant obsessed with freedom. And Durge is his equal. So of course he'd assist in their escape from their own hell, too. And if what they need is a new vessel to store their consciousness, well, Gortash and his mechanical puppets are happy to oblige.

I'm onto smth I know it (and this is definitely not just a scrapped ending that I've been reconsidering again)

What if, after barely surviving Leviathan thanks to their power, they now know they will die whent the injuries are distributed back. Now they have to deal with their upcoming doom/race against time to find a healer.

Brute power where damage is distributed back through time. Almost a thinker power in some regards. Injuries spread our over longer periods to lessen the damage at the initial moment and after, but the cape always aware where they will be hurt and how badly. A cape heading into Leviathan painfully aware this may be the fight they die in.