pulchra-potens

Latest Posts by pulchra-potens

The Dreams of My Childhood

When I was a kid, I had tons of dreams

I was going to go to space I was going to be an astronaut I learned the constellations and the stations of the moon I watched mesmerized at videos of shuttle launches and I'd jump and cheer at the eventual splashdown I'd watch the stars at night so I guess some things just never change But when I couldn't figure out how to use a telescope I gave up on it all, as if it never existed

I was going to be a rockstar some day

I'd learn every cassette and CD that found it's way to me Even the one's I disliked Singing along to Alan Jackson Elvis Presley and Motley Crue I was going to learn to play guitar And I find myself still saying those words because some things just don't change But I never has the actual ambition or that little bit of starter talent And I never liked to be in the spotlight So when things got a little hard, I just got off

I was going to be author I was going to write a story that was beloved I was going to write of love and emotions and all the things that make up a good person and all those that create the villain but I never finish what I've started and I'm writing cryptic messages in badly written poetry A vomiting of my sub-conscience all over the sidewalk outside your old apartment door I write for this to spill my guts to let strangers judge me Some dreams, they just never change

Am i not family, mom ?

Why do i always feel like i am an outsider in my own home ?

Why do you assume i dont need that love ?

Why do you assume i dont need to be protected ?

Why do you insist on making me stronger ?

It hurts to watch.

To watch my family from afar.

How fucked up are you ?

So much that i ask ai if what i went through was enough to be this tramatized.

What do I aspire to be ?

A walking contradiction.

how to write a love poem

gut yourself like a fish.

stare at your organs.

describe the pretty colors.

use a metaphor.

You were my home.

My salvation.

My anchor.

And when you left,

I crumbled.

to the ruins.

You destroy me.

to the bones.

I am trying to convince myself.

It ain't fault.

It wasn't my fault.

I couldn't run. I just couldn't.

I wish i had though.

I wish i was brave like they all think.

I Wish i wasn't a coward.

I gasp.

He was all over my head. my mind.

How dare he do that to me ?

Does he even know ?

Why do I need him like air ?

I am a human. Why ? Why does i find it so hard to get him off ?

To let go ?

Please..make it stop.

I don't deserve this pain.

Do i ?

I don't believe in god.

Nor in fate.

But I need to know.

If we will ever, like ever cross paths again.

Will I atleast get to say goodbye ?

It's probably my fault.

Mine.

I assumed that I had that right on you.

On us.

fuck it. be creative even if you never really *make* anything. write out plot synopses of stories and then move on. design OCs you'll never use. make mood boards and concept art and don't do anything with them. life's too short to forget everything that inspired you and creation doesn't have to be "complete" to be worth the time you put into it.

It's been days

weeks or months?

I don't know..

I have been drowning in blood, breathing in the ashes,

as I am left. alone.

In the silence, in the nightmare.

Why wouldn't it end ?

Why wouldn't it all end?

Can I just sleep ?

forever?

I........am so tired.

please. help me out.

Either you pull me up or you push me down.. Don't leave me like this..

hanging by a thread.

You can have everything, and still be broken.

I am not ugly.

I am just. not pretty enough.

If the moon ever speaks my name, I hope she does it like a curse.

today, i realized i am drowning.

i am drowning and i can't breathe. its all dark and too much. i am choking and coughing. but. the catch is, i tried to scream. i screamed till my throat bleed. but when i saw them laughing, i realized how it didn't matter. how i never mattered. my screams , my cry for help never mattered. they knew. they fucking knew but they shut me out.

They left me here. in the dark. to drown in blood.

And that was the thing about her, she kept on surviving. With bullet holes in her lungs, and knife marks etched in her back. She never let anything get in her way, resilient. A fighter, not by choice, but a warrior at heart.

Kiana Azizian

My red flag is isolating myself when life gets dark and messy. I'd stay silent, pull away, push those I love away and hide. But, it's also when I crave being found the most, where I long for a heartfelt conversation and pay attention to every gesture of kindness.

"i feel safe with you."

d.b.a

so damn true.

Warner: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Kishimoto. Kenji: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

untitled (1.3.17)

d.b.a

Everyday,

I wake up to another nightmare

too wild but definitely real,

unable to stand up and fight

unable to be the knight in armor

unable to work hard for my dreams

unable to love, to fight.

I wish to be reborn.

right into the arms of a monster.

A monster who will tame my wildness. to an extend.

~k

I am stuck in a cage

i made for myself.

too tired to break free.

~k

lost in soulless city

Hello 👋, My name is Momen Al Madhoun / I am a digital artist /a father of two children " Ezzdeen & Amir " I live in Gaza City in the heart of the Genocide, working tirelessly to amplify my voice to the world through my artwork.

I want to say thank you a lot. Your donations helped me improve our displacement conditions. But my family still needs your contributions to keep going We rely on you, you are our hope for survival.

🌟 Our campaign is vetted by 🇵🇸 @/gazavetters List at #291

Gofundme Campaign Link

Love Between Lines

-

Growing up,

I found getting lost in books

Was the best way to survive.

All sorts of stories,

Where someone is saved,

And happily ever after is never explained.

Paper cuts and the smell of cigarettes,

Separating fact from fiction.

I think now on how you grew up,

Parallel alongside me.

How I'd come to accept that while books

Imitated life,

There would be no savior,

No happily ever after for someone

Like me.

You existed outside of my realm of knowledge,

A lightning strike for a smile

And beautiful-

Like the heroes from the storybooks.

Do you like mint with chocolate?

I had asked,

And you hesitated with lightning.

Honesty, honesty, honesty.

Such simple questions to unravel my worldview,

To find there was a story being written about me all along-

Just within you.

Depends on the context,

You laughed.

But yes, I do.

I do too.

I do too.

x

Start

My soul is aching,

begging to be shattered by you,

as if breaking is the only way

to feel whole again....