You Will Live And You Will Say The Wrong Things And Make Mistakes And People Will Love You Anyways.

Because it is the anniversary of his death, I wanted to share a small story about my grandfather.

Before I knew that I was intersex, I identified as a trans man. And I went the way any trans man has to go if he wants to transition in my country. My parents thankfully were supportive but I was afraid to tell my grandparents. My grandparents were German and lived/were raised during the third reich. While both of them never said or acted in a way that suggested that they had fascist views (my grandfather was until he died part of a leftwing political party), but there still was this fear in me. "They are old, they grew up surrounded by abhorrent beliefs...". And then there was my aunt. Who would constantly claim that my grandfather was homophobic.

The problem was, back then, there were no openly out gay people in our area, so I never got the chance to see my grandfather interact with someone who was queer. So I just believed her. Because she was so insistent on it. And because it confirmed my fears and my brain loves to be constantly afraid.

But I knew I wanted to come out. I had to, eventually, because I had stopped my estrogen treatment (back then, I did not know that I got that because I was intersex) and went on testosterone instead and first physical changes began to show. We all lived in one big house, so my grandparents would eventually notice.

I was so afraid that my father at some point offered to talk to his parents. I waited outside in the hallway that led to their kitchen and listened.

My father explained, easy to understand, that I was going to transition from female to male because I felt terrible in my body. My grandfather asked, "Is that why the child* is so depressed all this time?" I had been in and out of multiple clinics for manic depression at that point. My father gave a yes. And my grandmother made the incredibly selfish comment, "Can't that wait until I am dead?"

Before I even got time to be upset, my grandfather slammed his fist down on the table. I had never seen or heard him do anything like that before. He was a very calm and collected man who preferred to leave the room before he got too angry. "No, it can't wait. The child gets to get well now. And if that is what is going to help, then it needs to be done."

From that day on, he never used my deadname again or used the wrong pronouns for me. Sometimes, he would stop in a sentence to think and remind himself, but he did always address me correctly.

He celebrated with me when my name was legally changed. He built the bed frame for me and my boyfriend's bed when we moved in together, just like he had built the first adult sized bedframe for me when I outgrew my small bed. He drove my boyfriend to his chemo sessions because my grandfather also had cancer and knew how terrifying it was to go alone.

Did he fully understand what it means to be intersex? To transition? No. But he understood that one of his loved ones was suffering and that he could help to alleviate that pain. And so he did.

He taught me calligraphy. He taught me how to sew. He taught me bookbinding. He gave me many gifts.

But the biggest gift he gave me was, that when someone hated me for what I am, I could stomach it. Because this man was willing to unlearn the bigotry he had been taught for decades so he could love me for who I am.

*in my grandpa's dialect it was normal to refer to children as just 'the child' (genderless)

EDIT

I was blown away by how many people have reblogged this post. I believe my grandfather would be very happy to see that he can give some hope and love to others even now.

I do not want him to stay faceless; so here is a piece of art I made for his obituary, with a slightly altered quote added now.

Dahlias were his favorite flowers. Orange ones especially. They reminded him of the home he had to flee from as a child.

you are so fucking gay!!!!!!!!!! and i love you!!!!!!!

Thank you random person who I definitely do not know, I am gay and I love you too!! :3c

! ! Urgently ! !

‏today I took my wife to the hospital and the doctor said she needs healthy food, please help me my wife is pregnant I don't want to lose her baby ‏

https://gofund.me/cd14d440

! !

Vetted by : @gazavetters

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Not my usual content, but I made something I wanted to share...

Edit: Now with an ID from @a-captions-blog! Thank you for writing it!

[Art description: A Pokémon-themed comic featuring OP as a Pikachu. Long description follows.

1. The tips of Pikachu’s ears are shown with text that says, ‘I’m a Pikachu / My world is filled with lots of cool stuff. Sometimes it feels like anything is possible!’ Under this is a collage showing a Charizard, a Pidgeotto, a Nidoking, an Eevee, and an Ivysaur, all in the background as the Pikachu looks up in wonder. Text reads, ‘All sorts of types, all sorts of attacks, all sorts of Pokemon.’

2. Text says, ‘But...only two ways a Pikachu’s tail could look.’ Two boxes in the upper corners show the male and female Pikachu tails, respectively. The male has a rectangular end to his tale, and the female has a heart-shaped end to hers. Text continues, ‘So then, what am I?’ A large drawing of the narrator Pikachu is shown, with an arrow pointing to their tail, whose end is split somewhat like scissors and doesn’t match either the male or female drawing above.

3. Text says, ‘Too pointy to be [female], too much of a V-shape to be [male]. I thought there was something wrong with me.’ Under this are three cascading panels showing the Pikachu from below at an angle emphasizing their tail. The second panel shows mel further away, and in the final panel she have disappeared entirely. Text on the panels reads, ‘I felt / very, very, very / alone.’

4. Text says, ‘But then, something happened. I found others like me.’ The art shows the narrator reaching out to another Pikachu. Under this are three other Pikachu. One has a rounded tail, one has a tail that has been stitched up to be rectangular, and one has a tail with a slight spike at the tip.

5. Closeups are shown of each of the tails from the previous panel, with text that says, ‘Round tails, scarred tails, spiky tails.’ Under this is a drawing of the Pikachu all hugging with lightning coming from their cheeks. Text reads, ‘They told me nothing was wrong with me, and I wasn´t alone anymore.’

6. Text says, ‘There are many ways a Pikachu’s tail can look. I’ve heard there’s at least over 30 different variations.’ Under this are two panels. The first panel shows the narrator lying on their back on a background of male and female symbols. Text reads, ‘Some days are still hard.’ In the second panel, the Pikachu with the scarred tail is shown with text that says, ‘My friend tells me her tail used to look just like mine. It was taken from her.’

8. The narrator is shown sitting and looking upwards. Text reads, ‘Some trainers won’t accept Pikachu that aren’t [male] or [female]. They alter our tails without our consent. But things are getting better. We are making change. We’re fighting so that our tails will be left alone.’ Under this is a panel showing the four Pikachu running happily towards the right. Text reads, ‘We’re all on a spectrum. Every tail looks different; anything is possible.’

The final text reads, ‘This is a comic about intersex people.’ The watermark in the lower right says @ PostManic. \End descriptions

self-proclaimed radical leftists: in the communist utopia that exists only in my head, everyone will work, by which i mean a full-time job in the post-industrial revolution sense. this is because work is obviously the only way one can contribute to society, and everyone who doesn't work is a parasite that will be eradicated in my Communist Utopia™. i don't even care about the products or purpose of people's labour because, as everyone knows, employment equals morality and so having a job is inherently virtuous and not having a job makes you a lazy leech who doesn't deserve to live. trust me, this is a very communist idea. i'm practically an expert because i read 1.5 tweets about marx.

what? omg why are you making this about disability, i was obviously talking about normal people 🙄 if you're disabled, you have an excuse to be a useless waste of resources who can't contribute anything 😊 in my ✨ Communist Utopia ✨, you don't have to work if you're not able to. don't worry, we'll have rigorous and dehumanising tests to determine if you're disabled enough or if you're just a lazy faker! this process is infallible and has no drawbacks whatsoever for disabled people. have you considered that maybe you're the real ableist for criticising me? 🤔 anyway, have i mentioned how much i love employment and also the taste of boot leather

Questions to ask yourself when creating a magic system

I have more questions for you!!! :D

As there are no real-word examples for this one, I’m going to be talking a lot about my own magic systems, and those of the medias I enjoy! There will be a list of all the things I referenced at the bottom!

What does magic DO

Exactly the title. What does magic do? (Can it make potions? Cast spells? Animate things? Transfigure things? Create things? Kill things? Cast hexes or charms? Multiple of these?)

What does magic have an affect on? What does it not?

How strong is magic? What are its limits? How do these differ from person to person, or place to place? 

Does magic do different things for different people?

How does a magic caster’s intention for a ‘spell’ affect it? Is magic entirely reliant on a mental image of what is wanted, or does it need to be casted a certain way to work, like a recipe?

How is magic casted? (Note- I recommend being creative here! It doesn’t have to just be waving a wand. It can be through making pottery, it can be through sewing certain patterns, or dancing a certain dance, etc etc etc)

How can spells be used for something that is not their intended/common purpose? How are new uses of magic discovered? Which uses are most common, and why?

How does societal standards affect the use of magic? Will less people know about more harmful or taboo spells? Will it be less common for, say, a woman to use/be trained in magic?

Source of Magic 

Where does magic come from? (Do the gods give access to their most devout followers? Is it handed down in one’s blood? Does it come from the earth?)

Is magic learnt, or are people born with it? (E.g does magic work through potions that can be made by anyone with the right ingredients, or is it only possible if one has magic already in their blood?)

Can someone who logically shouldn’t know magic learn/possess it by alternate means? (E.g. Luz from The Owl House learning magic  via ‘glyphs’ despite not being a witch) how would people treat this? (Is it seen as ‘lesser’ or somehow not ‘real’ magic?)

Can magic be harnessed through a wand/staff/etc? Can it only function through this conduit, or can it be done without? How does magic function if it does not have the aforementioned conduit? (Is it harder to manage? Is it more dangerous? Is it simply lesser?) 

Another dot-point because the last one was far too long; how is the use of ‘magical aides’ (wands, etc) treated? (Is it seen as something only a child would use? Is it very common? Is not using one seen as dangerous and bad?) How does the function of magical aides affect this? (Note- a very good example of this is the string in A Marvellous Light, which functions via ensuring a magicians cradles [hand movements one does to cast a spell] are more precise. It is only used by those with little magic, so it is looked down upon.)

How would one learn magic? (Is magic taught in schools? Are there books on it?)

Can magic be done/enhanced if multiple people cast it together? How would this be done? 

Is magic a separate entity from it’s user? Is it an entity at all? Can it react without instruction/ disobey it’s user? Is it a possession of it’s user? Is this different/ perceived differently for different people?

Can magic be mistreated/ abused? (Note- here I do not mean an ‘abuse of power’ I mean abuse in the way one could abuse a pet) what are the consequences of this? (Might magic stop working, or turn on it’s user?)

Affect on Culture/the greater world

Who has magic? Who does not? Who knows about magic? Who does not? Is it a secret? How is this secret kept? Who enforces that it must be a secret? What is the punishment for letting the secret be known?

Can people have more or less magic? Can people have more or less knowledge on it, or skill with it? Does this cause any power imbalances or issues for either side? 

How do the uses of magic impact the way things are done? (E.g. if there is a spell used to dry things, people may not use drying racks.) would the skills of those with more magic be useful in a work setting? (E.g. if some people know the aforementioned drying spell and some do not, might those who do know it work as something close to a washerwoman because of their skill?)

Is magic regulated at all? Who regulates it, what are the regulations, how strict are they, and what are the punishments for breaking them?

Is magic seen as normal? (Keep in mind: if magic is possessed by a majority of people, it very well may be. Because of this, characters may be less likely to be impressed by magic. Think about how this will affect the language surrounding magic, and how people treat it.)

How will different people view or interact with magic? (E.g. a rebellious teen, a businessman and an elderly woman are not going to have the exact same view or uses of magic. Try to explore this!)

How will those with a great deal of magic view those without/ without a great amount, and vice versa? How does this affect the world and it’s prejudices?

Consequences

How can magic hurt a person if misused/overused/ used at all? (Is the damage physical, mental, physiological, all three?) (E.g. my own magic system causes people to actively unmake themselves as they use their magic, leading to sickness, insanity, derealisation, hallucinations, etc etc etc)

Is this damage known? How does the knowledge of it affect the treatment of magic? (Are people terrified of it? Do they not care, and see it as a worthy risk? What might lead  someone to push through the damage?)

How does this damage manifest, and how noticeable is it? (E.g. Are there physical scars or other warning signs, or is it entirely unnoticeable until it is too late, like magical rabies?)

Can damage from magic be reversed or healed? How? Can potential damage be avoided? How? 

Can one’s magic turn on oneself? How would this happen, and what are the consequences of this? 

Can magic be hurt/diminished? How does this affect its users? (E.g. silver and werewolves)

When an attempt at magic fails, how does it fail? Is it like baking, where at worst it’ll ‘taste good, but be a little dry’ or is it like mixing volatile chemicals, where at worst you die?

Appearance

How does magic look? (I highly recommend finding a metaphor or motif for magic, as this really helps flesh out its appearance and makes it easier to describe!!)

Can its appearance look different for different people? Can it change over time?

Does magic manifest itself via means other than visual? (One of my characters has very strong nature magic, and thus he grows flowers when he is happy, and always smells floral)

Does magic have a physical effect on it’s users? (E.g. the dark magic in The Dragon Prince)

Is one able to tell when magic has been cast upon something? 

Every piece of media I referenced in this, in order of appearance

The Owl House, a TV show on Disney written by Dana Terrace

A Marvellous Light, a novel written by Freya Marske (this series is a wonderful example of how to make a magic system. It is very well thought out, and the varied experiences and views of magic for each magician character is so, so good. 10/10. If you want a good example of magic please read this!!! (Granted I might be a little biased because I just love this book series))

The dragon prince, a TV show on Netflix

Don't Fall for this scam.

Transgender community, please please please do NOT use this product! It will kill you if used, please do not use it whatsoever.

Please reblog and spread the word

On November 7, 2024, Denmark used a racist, culturally biased "parenting competency" test to remove a 2 hour old baby, Zammi, from her loving indigenous Greenlandic Inuit mother, Keira, because her native language, which uses minute facial expressions to communicate, will not be able to "[prepare] the child for the social expectations and codes that are necessary to navigate in Danish society." This test had been recommended not to be used at the federal level before this happened but certain municipalities, including the one this happened in, chose to continue to use it regardless. Not only is this blatantly racist but also violates multiple declarations and conventions that Denmark has signed that protect the rights of indigenous people.

Please sign this petition to help Keira to get her baby back.

Change.org

Bring a little girl inuk greenlander ZAMMI BACK HOME

Can you spare a minute to help this campaign?

dear parents, if your child has "seemed fine this entire time" but is now seeking out diagnoses, mobility aids, medical help, more doctors, and is sharing their pain more. do not fucking shut them down? even if it ends up being nothing, showing them that support through all of that will seriously help them. if it ends up being something and you're a bitch to them, the joke will be on you and that strain on your relationship will never go away because. you didn't listen.

listen to kids. we tell you what we need, it's not that hard.

Fictional worldbuilding

I have this list I compiled of topics for developing of countries, whether fantasy based or not, and it seems to be a useful resource to share. Feel free to use this list to develop your own lore, but DO NOT claim it as your own or repost. It's pretty long, but I think it covers a lot of relevant topics for worldbuilding.

General

∎ Country name - Etymology if possible - Reasons for the name ∎ Does it take inspiration for a historical time period, aesthetic, or culture ∎ What sort of government is it

Important Places

∎ Main cities - Layout of the city - Economic or historical importance ∎ Other cities and places of importance - Ports - Mine cities - Scholarly cities ∎ Seasonal or turistic places

Climate and Terrain

∎ Important lakes, rivers, mountain chains or other geographically relevant places ∎ Seasons ∎ Climate in general ∎ How does the terrain affect daily habits ∎ Important plants - Agriculture - Crops for export ∎ Important animals - Livestock

Government

∎ System of government - Nobility/aristocracy -- Titles and inheritance/eligibility of titles - Merchant class ∎ Current and past rulers

Social customs

∎ Entertainment - Common forms of entertainment - Games - Cultural/social forms of enterteinment (go to parties/go to the movies/go out to eat/etc) ∎ Seasonal entertainment - Vacations - Seasonal high class customs ∎ Customs regarding reading and books ∎ Customs towards addictive substances - Alcohol - Tobacco - Opioids - Other stuffs ∎ Education and educational system ∎ Houses - Home layouts - Common things in houses ∎ Rites of passage - Age to be presented as adult to the society and customs regarding it ∎ Manners and behaviour in public ∎ Religion - Possible gods - Holidays - Festivals ∎ Customs regarding music - Musical instruments

Notions of family

∎ Inheritance laws ∎ Marriage and concepts of marriage - Marriage rituals - Who is allowed to wed who - Divorce - Customs toward conjugal and domestic violence - Polygamy -- Extraconjugal affairs --- Bastards ∎ Adoption ∎ Division of domestic labor and roles

Economy

∎ Coin and values ∎ Important internal products ∎ Main imports ∎ Main exports ∎ Important commercial relations

Fashion

∎ Common feminine fashion ∎ Common masculine fashion ∎ Concepts about clothing - What is seen as vulgar - What is seen as desirable ∎ Fashion and rites of passage ∎ Hairstyles and adornments

Names and language

∎ Base language ∎ Linguistic influences ∎ Working of names - Family names -- Patronymic and matronymic - Personal names

Magic and technology

∎ Magic - Practice of magic - Permissions within magic - Common and uncommon forms of magic ∎ Magic creatures of importance ∎ Level of technology ∎ Daily uses of technology