I Know Everyone Sees Itto As Genshin's Comedic Relief, But I'm Telling You All, Alhaitham Is Actually

I know everyone sees Itto as Genshin's comedic relief, but I'm telling you all, Alhaitham is actually the funniest character in Genshin Impact.

According to the fandom, he's hot, he's famous, he's the one in charge of the house...

But according to the people of Sumeru? Dude became grand sage and not a single NPC around the city had a thing to say about that. Sachin's son got his ass beat and he didn't even know who Alhaitham was; it was just "some guy in green." People on the streets are said to not even notice Alhaitham, let alone be able to identify him by appearance. The only time we ever hear NPCs directly commenting on Alhaitham, it's Siraj's collective who hate Alhaitham's guts. Dori refuses to work with him. Random Eremites call him a lunatic within two minutes of meeting him.

Alhaitham's reputation in Sumeru is "Who? Ah, that guy? I heard he's weird," and then everyone moves on.

Meanwhile, Kaveh is literally famous enough to have an epithet ("the Light of Kshahrewar"), is the lead architect on entire city redesigns, and was trusted before Alhaitham's take over to do work on the Akademiya itself. He built the most famous landmark in the rainforest outside of the Divine Tree. He's well-known enough that people bank on his reputation to start scams; people send their children to take courses with him in the belief that it will bless them with successful future careers. He's known for philanthropic endeavors to help the poor and disadvantaged. He won the Interdarshan Championship. This is the Sumeru equivalent of winning an Olympic gold medal!!

Kaveh is the Taylor Swift to Alhaitham's Travis Kelce. They might have independent success, but in every measurement of public sentiment, Kaveh vastly outshines Alhaitham, and the fandom should really take a step back and think about how hilarious this makes everything about their situation in canon.

For the few in Sumeru who are actually paying attention, sure, Alhaitham is the (former) acting grand sage who makes a pretty penny and owns the house Kaveh lives in. For the average majority of Sumeru's citizens who are way more likely to know Kaveh? Alhaitham is literally just "that guy who is shacked up with the Light of Kshahrewar."

Kaveh's efforts to keep where he lives a secret just makes him come across like one of those reclusive types of artists who value their privacy. Half the public in Sumeru probably think he just prefers to keep himself and his lover out of the limelight. Kaveh was so busy pretending not to be poor, he forgot that every ounce of pretending he does just helps him keep his own celebrity status. The harder he attempts to act secretive about where he lives and with whom, the more it comes across as "Please respect this famous person's privacy and stop asking about the details of his relationship."

And Alhaitham, for whom being "that guy who is shacked up with the Light of Kshahrewar" is THE life goal? Everything is going according to keikaku. Kaveh has convinced the entirety of Sumeru that he and Alhaitham are in a relationship, all without Alhaitham having to lift a finger. The more determined Alhaitham gets to fly under the radar, the more it looks like he's Kaveh's kept man. If you aren't living with him because you're broke, then why are you living with him, Kaveh? There's simply no way for Alhaitham to lose.

It's just... so funny.

More Posts from Outdatedsymphony and Others

10 months ago

Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

6 months ago

The people who police your gender will police your gender even if you're cis.

Eat them.

6 months ago

Hello, I am Tareq from Gaza Iam trying save my famliy from the genocide happening here. I ask for your help in spreading my story and donating if you can contribute anything, no matter how small.Please don,t forget to sharethe latest post from my page and follow my account to help spread the story to the world. Thank you.

htps://gofund.me/481656bc

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6 months ago

when your pet comes to you from another room, the preceding moments meant that they were alone somewhere and thought about YOU, an animal brain literally thought about you and came to you to see what you were doing. that’s love, unconditional.

6 months ago

Hello,

How are you? I am Anas from Gaza. Due to the terrible situation, war, bombings, and the dire living conditions, could you please help us by donating through the GoFundMe link, even if it's just a small amount? And if you can't, could you please share the link?😔😣💔

GoFundMe link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/restoring-hope-for-my-family-and-gazas-struggling-communit

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3 months ago

Ways to solve the Why Can’t They Use Magic To Fix Everything problem:

•Magic has a cost. The more powerful the spell, the more it drains the caster’s life.

•’We tried that ages ago.The gods grew angry at our arrogance and stripped most of our powers away.’

•Magic is tied to the stars and planets. Its full potential can only manifest on certain astrological events.(And these are once-in-a-millennia type events)

•Only one will a pure heart and selfless intentions can use their full power.

•All magic users are descendants of a (god/spirit). As the years have gone by, the blood has become more diluted, and magic has grown weaker as a result.

•Spell casters can only cast (finite number of spells). They end up using their gift on trivial matters.

•’After the war, we realized the dangers that magic presented. And so we sealed it away, lest it destroy the world.’

•Everyone has magic. Trying to solve one problem is futile as it can be easily undone(often violently and with much destruction)

•inverse of the above: everyone has magic, but their powers are limited and (mostly) harmless.

•Individual, company, or nation has a monopoly on the only substance that can negate magic. As they rule the world, they have installed anti-magic devices everywhere.

•Individual, group, company, or nation has a monopoly on magic. To insure their grip on power, all magic users that do not submit to them are killed.

•An act of good will spawn one of evil. The use of fire will cause somewhere to grow cold and dark. And to save a life, one must sacrifice another.

•The only magic people have access to is Chaos Magic. No one uses it, for obvious reasons.

—••• •• ——• ——• • ••• —•• •• —•—• —•— ••— •••

11 months ago

self-proclaimed radical leftists: in the communist utopia that exists only in my head, everyone will work, by which i mean a full-time job in the post-industrial revolution sense. this is because work is obviously the only way one can contribute to society, and everyone who doesn't work is a parasite that will be eradicated in my Communist Utopia™. i don't even care about the products or purpose of people's labour because, as everyone knows, employment equals morality and so having a job is inherently virtuous and not having a job makes you a lazy leech who doesn't deserve to live. trust me, this is a very communist idea. i'm practically an expert because i read 1.5 tweets about marx.

what? omg why are you making this about disability, i was obviously talking about normal people 🙄 if you're disabled, you have an excuse to be a useless waste of resources who can't contribute anything 😊 in my ✨ Communist Utopia ✨, you don't have to work if you're not able to. don't worry, we'll have rigorous and dehumanising tests to determine if you're disabled enough or if you're just a lazy faker! this process is infallible and has no drawbacks whatsoever for disabled people. have you considered that maybe you're the real ableist for criticising me? 🤔 anyway, have i mentioned how much i love employment and also the taste of boot leather

2 months ago

listen. aging into your thirties rocks. yes your joints get a little creaky. yes you can’t sleep in a pretzel on the floor anymore after a concert or a convention. and you lose some friends. but the thing is that you sort out who your real friends are and you sort out who you really are. and you get to see your friends settling into careers they like, and adopt new dogs and cats, and you find a job you can stand, and get really good at arts and crafts, and maybe that book you loved as a kid gets a movie deal and it doesn’t suck, and you learn to like new food and bake your own bread, and you realize that the great portfolio of self harm scars you all used to curate are going white with age and not updated, and half your friends are a different gender now and so much happier and maybe you are too, and you know who you are, and that it’s a journey and not a revelation. it’s a direction you’re headed, and you’re enjoying the trip.

reaching your 30′s rocks. and i’m hearing good things about what comes next, too.

5 months ago

Urgent ‼️ essential 🙏‼️🇵🇸💔

It’s so important to take a look please 😔🙏🙏

Hello my friends I’m Huda from Gaza, a woman trying to save her first baby and trying to protect him by all means😔 I have made two previous campaigns and I have been facing so many problems in both of them so A friend of mind made me a new link to help me get needed help and donations 😔💔

I have been vetted previously by @dlxxv-vetted-donations in tumblr and @molly shah on blue sky and @barbara on X. Here are screenshots for the vetting and verification

I hope you could help me and vet my campaign again plz @dlxxv-vetted-donations @90-ghost @gazavetters 🙏😔🙏

Please share, and donate as much as possible my friends to save my baby from death and help me buy my baby basic needs please 💔😔🙏🇵🇸‼️

Here is the new link:

https://gofund.me/cd14d440

Urgent ‼️ Essential 🙏‼️🇵🇸💔
Urgent ‼️ Essential 🙏‼️🇵🇸💔

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outdatedsymphony - Outdated Symphony
Outdated Symphony

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