Jalakanyaka - Seine

you dont deserve me you deserve something else, maybe not better and maybe not worse but someone else. we both deserve other people. you bring out the worst in me.

its actually okay that you let go first because i wouldnt have moved on otherwise

How i feel about the recent season quest

sometimes the tragedy of distance is very simple. i want to get groceries with you

My plant: Im rooting for you

Me: Thanks

this cruel envy fills me whenever i see that others are doing worse than me. i think it's a superiority complex or a messed up inferiority complex but there's this voice inside me that parrots "you must always be doing worse than them." everything feels like a competition for the worse because those who feel bad also get attention and i want that attention. i want people to care about me, i want to be sick so people can acknowledge that i'm sick and think about and talk about me like conversation topics so i feel special to them, no matter how terrible it is. i know it would be impossible to achieve this through good things like awards or competitions, so i'll get the attention in the one way i can: by suffering and making everyone aware of it. i'm not good enough that people will care so i'll be sick enough so they'll be forced to care

photographed by leslie zhang for self-portrait kids

I want to eat love and spit out the root (the arteries hidden under your flesh) and I want to drink so much of your blood that it cannot be differentiated from mine until we become one; time and memory will unfold and entangle in an entirely new way and our changeless stardust will explore and melt the milky way after we burn

The soundtrack ripping my soul right out of my body didn’t help either