I Need People To Stop Interpreting My Fear As Regret. Let Me Feel Afraid. Let Me Have The Courage To

The opposite of anxiety is not calmness, it is desire. Anxiety and desire are two, often conflicting, orientations to the unknown. Both are tilted toward the future. Desire implies a willingness, or a need, to engage this unknown, while anxiety suggests a fear of it. Desire takes one out of oneself, into the possibility of relationship, but it also takes one deeper into oneself. Anxiety turns one back on oneself, but only onto the self that is already known. There is nothing mysterious about the anxious state; it leaves one teetering in an untenable and all too familiar isolation. There is rarely desire without some associated anxiety: We seem to be wired to have apprehension about that which we cannot control, so in this way, the two are not really complete opposites. But desire gives one a reason to tolerate anxiety and a willingness to push through it.

Open to Desire

Mark Epstein

I hope I one day have the courage to speak up and not be so afraid of being judged poorly by others. It’s so hard to speak in front of people I’m so socially incompetent

Need to be healthy need to take care of my body Need to tend to this vessel need to maintain it need to eat healthy no junk food I need to exercise

Is it just me or is E&M simply not as intuitive as mechanics? Help

I can’t talk to people I am bad at communication Verbal communication is awful for me

Woe is you… and, what else?

Assumptions on me

Brain : smooth

Activity: negligible

I am currently very afraid of being stupid and dumb. It’s the worst thing one can be. I’m afraid I’ll dumb down even more I can’t imagine living a life where I’m stupid and dumb and I continue to get more stupid and dumb. It’s my nightmare I need to exercise my brain

So lonely So so lonely Nothing but lonely So alone