Latest Posts by giadinaye - Page 2
Kim Kitsuragi shitpost voicelines!
Please see end of post if you want to use these!
Submitted by you, voted for by you, I'd like to present the voicelines you were just dying to hear being said by Kim - dutifully performed by the brilliant Jullian Champenois.
In 10th place,
How did we get here? We walked, believe it or not. You were not entirely lucid.
In 9th place,
I want to have fuck with you.
In 8th place, Normal people, when they go down a slide - they're fine.
Submission idea attributed to this post.
In 7th place, No, detective, I do not just want to go apeshit.
Submitted by bowyooo. In 6th place, Apartment complex? I find it quite simple.
Submitted by elelei. In 5th place, Officer, what the fuck was that?
In 4th place, Trans rights are human rights, detective. Obviously.
In 3rd place, Do I like men? Man is a hopeless creature. I don't like much of anyone. ...Oh, if you meant sexually, then, yes.
In 2nd place,
Detective, Instead of worrying about appearing 'submissive and breedable', please make sure your paperwork is submitted and readable.
Submitted by scrollingdown. And finally, in 1st place, the voice line you all wanted to hear so so badly is...
I'm da king of da highway.
Usage
You are welcome and encouraged to use these for memes, shitposts, and other foolish fan content on social media. When you do, please include credit to Jullian Champenois. You can also include a link to his website, tag him on Instagram/Twitter (@julliannailluj), or mention his Youtube channel according to the content you make. Commercial content of any kind - ads, promoted videos, etc - is explicitly forbidden by these usage terms. Anything of this sort will require specific permission by Jullian. Please don't fuck around we love him. That's it! Thank you everyone for participating, reading, and enjoying this silly little project.
i mean this in an entirely platonic, slightly powerhungry way, but i love when people call me the friendly "boss." like "you got is boss" or "whatever ya say, boss." it's so fun. like we're in the worlds shittiest cartoon mafia
reminder that the thoughts someone has does not say anything about how “good” or “bad” someone is, because thoughts have no moral worth at all. yes, this includes sexual and violent thoughts of all kinds. thoughtcrime isn’t real
collection of posts for a very specific dynamic
lets hear it for transgenderism and faggotry. can I get a round of applause for transgenderism and faggotry
*plants mint directly in your dash* heehee :3
*sidles up to you at the bar* would you like to hear my wise aphorism
Adult Swim making an unholy amount of sense.
there are balls of moss on glaciers that roll around and we don't even know how they do it????? They can go an entire inch a day!
i keep mentioning the bread pudding incident and not telling the full story and at some point i really should
Hi everyone! My friend Dario is trying to get top surgery, if you could pitch in or at least share his gofundme it would be lovely!
story of my life
(i hope this makes sense to someone)
Remembering how once many years ago I was walking downhill at a trail in a forest with some other people when I felt something slam into my back, and I reflexively ran forward still feeling whatever it was, like something had leapt onto my back and was clinging there the whole way down. I got to the bottom of the hill and stumbled to the side and a cyclist shot past just saying “SORRY!” According to everyone else, the bike basically hit me square in the back, pushed me all the way down the hill, and my legs by maybe pure reflex just literally “ran with it,” like this:
Somehow I didn’t get hurt by it at all
I keep on fucking up but at this point I've decided to vibe with my fuck ups. They're kinda cute once you get used to them. :D
Notice: not only do your friends actually like you, they secretly like you twice as much as they let on
A light in my house suddenly turned on- AND WHO DO I SEE?!?!
around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.
so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep
he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.
every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.
He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.
then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”
you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.
it actually makes me so sad there are some people who havent seen fireflies irl like. come with me. let me show you. lets go out in the yard at 8 in the evening and catch fireflies together
One of the best parts about working at a sex shop is the employee discount, and yeah that means excellent deals on sex supplies but that's not the big brain part.
You come to my house. Something is cooking in the kitchen- it smells wonderful. What is it? It's novelty dick-shaped pasta. I've set up a sensual sexy Italian dinner. There are candles set up on the table. They're melting too fast, dripping everywhere- they're low temp waxplay pillar candles. For dessert, I serve you a delicious ice cream topped in penis-shaped rainbow confetti sprinkles and strawberry body paint drizzle, and afterwards, serve coffee with roasted hazelnut warming lube.
We play a board game while we drink. It's sexy monopoly. It's your turn. You roll the dice. They come up as 'whisper into' and 'butt'. I lost the original dice. We're using the sexy dice. You move four spaces.
After dinner, I run you a bath. A bubble bath. The bubble gel? Sensual ocean breeze. There are candles lined up around the tub. The scent is overpowering. Why? They're three-in-one fruit flavored massage oil candles. I'm using so much. It's so wasteful. Do you want to shave? I have conditioning shave cream that smells like limes. And an electric body razor, but you can't use that in the tub.
How about a bath bomb? You toss one in. It's cherry blossom scented. As it dissolves, three sexy bath sex suggestion cards fall out. They're all variations on doggy style, probably because fucking in a bathtub is probably the easiest way to break your hip.
The water cools. You get out an dry off with a novelty towel. If you wrap it around your chest, it looks like you have gigantic tatas bursting through the fabric like the Hulk.
You walk into the bedroom. I'm there, reading an instructional book titled "The Housewife's Guide To Every Day Stripping". I'm wearing a neck pillow designed to look like a massive curved weiner. Also a pair of fake leather bondage leggings and an oversized men's christmas T-shirt that says "Jingle My Bells" across the front.
I see you come in. I put down the book, take off the pillow. Offer you a massage. You accept. I already burned up all the massage candles so I pop a new bottle of CBD massage oil that says something wrong about Chakras on it. It's very gritty. That's because there's little chunks of amethyst in it for some fucking reason. It's fine, though. You say you don't mind.
I don't do massages very often. It's bad. You end up more tense than before. One of your muscles starts to cramp- it's okay. I whip out a bottle of Lidocane topical masculine performance numbing spray. You immediately feel like your shoulder went to the dentist. It's not ideal, but it's better than cramping.
You're not in the mood to bone after that. Which is good, cause I'm actually pretty asexual, but it hasn't come up yet so I'm relieved to avoid the conversation. Instead we get ready for bed. (The weather is terrible, and I insist you stay over.) I set up the futon, then realize it smells like cigarettes from the previous owner and shyly ask if you wanna cuddle in my room. You're down.
I crawl under the covers, placing my penis-shaped pink glitter pride bottle on the side table in case one of us wakes up thirsty. Once you're settled in, I turn off the glowing bare ass night light and the room goes black.
It takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust, but when they do, you look up at the ceiling. It's dotted all over with little green flourescent lights. Are they plastic stars? No. I've pinned up a thousand glow in the dark condoms. God bless
I sleep to forget. What does that say about me?
I trade my time for... not quite peace, but the absence of turbulence.
i wish i was one of those girls from classical mythology……. i could just turn into a cypress tree or a crystalline lake and be done with it
Please be the good thing that happened to me today, and tomorrow, and the day after.