Tim: … I Did What We’re Told To Do. I Got An Adult. The Adult Just Didn’t Listen. What Else Was

Batplush

Disaster Lineage vs. Their Padawans in the matter of being insulted

Anakin: Ahsoka, pay no attention to them. The worst you can do to them is act like they don't exist.

Ahsoka, disappointed that she can't bite them: Yes, master.

-

Obi-Wan: Anakin, think. This isn't how Jedi behave.

Anakin, reluctantly relinquishing his grasp on his opponent's jugular: Yes, master.

_

Qui-Gon Jinn: Excuse me- do you think you can say that to MY PADAWAN?

Obi-Wan: Master, no.

-

Dooku, handing Qui a knife: Defend your honour.

Qui-Gon, shaking: I don't think this is how Jedi-

Dooku: I want no excuses.

-

Master Yoda, steadily pushing Dooku forward like he has wheels: MAKE HIM BLEED, YOU WLL

Dooku: MASTER NO

Yoda: A WUSS, A JEDI IS NOT

Sifo-Dyas, scrambling forwards: NO!!

I’m going to write this. I’m WakinLazyTurnip on Ao3 :) this is going go WELL

A new reason for why Young Justice is all 17 and not aging. They started a Dionysus-style cult centered around Cassie to see if they could make her into a Goddess, and it worked. In return, she made them all her immortal companions'.

The stupidity when meeting an AU of you

Idiot to Idiot communication

Damian: I bet father would’ve let /Drake/ do this.

Tim, looking up from his laptop: B never LETS me do anything? I just do it.

Damian, squinting at Tim for a moment: take me to do this and I won’t tell Pennyworth who left the Candy on the couch.

Tim, raising a brow: I was going to take you anyways but now you have to get in by yourself.

Damian: that’s fair. Apologies Timothy.

Tim: eh, whatever. Go get dressed

I think overall we are not fully utilizing Tim Drake's origin as a weird super hero fanboy/stalker for it's full comedic potential.

Jason talking about his Robin days: The look on that guy's face when he was beaten by child. I wish I had a picture.

Tim: I do.

Jason: You what?

Tim: have a picture.

Jason: ....

Tim: Would you like to see?

Jason:.... yes.

Dick over the phone: can you pick something up from Titans tower for me? I'm really busy. It's in the vault the password is ********.

Tim: You haven't changed it in 5 years? That's terrible security!

Dick: ...I didn't know you 5 years ago??

Tim: You also put the code in in plain view of the window. You should really pull the blinds down.

Dick: After you get that can you please get therapy?

For layrt

“Fire, Ice and Bone” - AU Masterpost

“Background” Information:

-Concept

-The Gold and Silver Twins

Content:

-”The Bargain” (Fanfic)

-LBD’s design

-”Brainstorming” - Mei’s batch design (Comic)

-Mei’s design (WIP)

-Mk’s design

-”Offer to Silver and Gold” (Fanfic)

-“Searching Refuge” (Fanfic)

-Jin and Yin’s designs

-Shopping Trip (Comissioned art by @winterpower98 )

-Jin’s updated design (WIP)

-”Insecuritys” Part 1 (Comic) 

-”Pendant” (Fanfic)

-”Monkey Grooming” Mentor-Student-Bonding (Comissioned art by @winterpower98 )

Extras:

-Me first coming up with the idea in one of my asks to winterpower98

-FIB-AU Key Chain

AU Crossovers: -Gold and Silver twins, Cursed Au Crossover

So Jaskier, completely shitfaced, is sitting somewhere on the dirty floor near a tavern in Oxenfurt, when he meets Vesemir for the first time.

He instantly recognizes the old witcher and loudly calls him over, something along the lines of "Hey! Hey you- you, wolf! Papa wolf! Yeah, come on, I need to have a word with you about your son. The- the stupid one-"

Vesemir is obviously not amused, but he comes over nonetheless because for some reason that drunk kid knows him.

Then, Jaskier proceeds to ramble on about Geralt and it gets very close to trash talk, but Vesemir keeps his cool and reads in between the lines. What he finds out is this: Geralt - who up to this point had been his favorite - had somehow managed to break this poor kid's heart, not once, not twice but "at least five times". Said kid had apparently "spent more than half of his life" following his son like a lost puppy. He mumbles something about elves and djinns and then tells this elaborate tale of a golden dragon. "And then he left me on a fucking mountain!" Vesemir for his part would have not believed any of this, if the name Yennefer hadn't fallen. Many of the unreasonable things Geralt does are related to Yennefer.

The old witcher then takes a closer look at the sod on the floor and oh yes, didn't Geralt say something about a bard?

Then suddenly the kid stops mid sentence as if remembering something important. He waves at one of the other young men and loudly asks "Oi Mikael, is there- is there class tomorrow!?" Vesemir doesn't show it but he's kind of shocked. The drunk kid is clearly a student at the Academy, way too young to be traveling with a witcher. What ln earth is Geralt thinking?!

When the other man, for some reason looking as shocked as Vesemir feels, answers the kid's question with "yes", the bardling seems to sober up by a lot. He staggers up, wishes Vesemir a good night and starts to stumble towards Oxenfurt Academy, quickly followed by the other student.

The last thing Vesemir hears before they walk out of side is how the student asks the bard "Does that mean we won't have to write that test tomorrow, professor?"

Professor. Vesemir needs a break.

DP x DC Prompt: The Watchlist

Batman has a watchlist. A list that contains every individual who could become a rouge and a contingency plan for if they did.  

And while they, his children, often make fun of his paranoia and him for having it, they totally understand why he did. They lived in Gotham, for Christ's sake. Where everyone’s just a pin drop away from being the city’s next big villain, forcing the bats to scratch their heads while playing cat and mouse with a sicko for a good few weeks. And while they won’t admit it, the list has helped them a few times. 

But that won’t stop them from making fun of any of the list’s new developments. Because you see, there was a new list. And it wasn’t just a watchlist. No, no, no. It was The Watchlist.

It was a new development after he and Robin went on an out-of-state mission to investigate some town in bum fuck nowhere Illinois. And it was under some pretty tight security as well, so they were expecting something good, like mad scientists or evil mayors. Not profiles of the kids who lived in the town. And while there were a few metas and vigilantes that made the list interesting, by the end of it all they just seemed to be teenagers. 

Until they saw Damian. They hadn’t seen him since he came back from the mission with B. He looked tired. Like ‘Tim hasn’t slept in a week and is surviving on just coffee beans’ tired.

“Ah, I see you all have found it. Good. A few of them will be arriving next week as they’re a part of Gotham Academy’s student exchange program. At least three of them will be staying in the manor with us. Father will need you all to be on standby and to be ready for any possible scenario. Please, for the love of all that is good, do not encourage them in any way, shape, or form. And please do not dismiss them either. The outcome of doing that will be much worse. Is there more that I should add? Yes. Will I? No, because you won’t understand. Not until you've seen what I have.” 

The demon child sighed, then looked them dead in the eyes. “Godspeed to us all.” Then walked away.

Okay, they were scared now.

Y’all think about those rare times when Batman talks about his sons before they were introduced to the justice league he talks bout his ‘babies’

Batman: ahh yes nightwing, he’s my little boy. Always is full of energy. I love him. He’s just a happy little boy. In fact I have called him here and there he is, my little boy, a bundle of joy he is.

Nightwing: *a fully grown man with the height of 6’0 and almost the size of Batman himself* hey guys :D

JL: that’s not a little boy???

Batman: *pointing to red hood* this is my baby, he’s just a precious baby and I love him so, he is fragile so please don’t make contact. He’s so cute and precious, he’s my precious baby boy.

Redhood: *a 6’2 man, absolutely covered in guns and is the size (if not slightly bigger) then Batman himself, glaring at all of them* don’t talk shit b

Batman: language.

JL: THATS NOT A BABY BOY???

Batman: this is my other son, he is my little genius. He’s so full of innocence and so pure, I love him dearly. Don’t be fooled by that stare, he’s so full of love he can hardly contain it. In fact he is friend shape.

Red robin: *staring down the JL with his Batman glare, already in a fighting stance* I will not hesitate

JL: I do not feel safe

Batman: this is robin, my son. He is very nice, though he might pick at you slightly, he is harmless. He can be prickly be warned but overall he is such a lovely baby and I love him so much

Robin: *gripping his swords, glaring at them ready to fight*

JL: oh my god we’re gonna die

Nothing to add, I just think thsi is hilarious and true.

the Star Wars fandom makes a lot of jokes about Din Djarin not knowing anything about Star Wars and dating Mr. Star Wars himself. And while that is true and very funny, I would like to point out that Mr. Star Wars doesn’t know anything about Star Wars either