Also. Something About The Deadpool Movies That I Really Appreciate Is That Even Underneath All The Gratuitous

We could do everything right, and they'd still think we were dangerous

- We are not free ; Traci Chee.

aftg is the opposite of that one post that's like "love was there, it didn't change anything" because love was there and it changed everything. i will always appreciate nora for believing in her characters' right to find love and heal and get their second and third and fifth chance.

just finished city on the edge of forever and i know we all talk about "by his side, as you always have been and always will be" yeah yeah yeah i too choked on raw yearning when she said that but

EVEN WHEN HE DOESN'T SAY IT, HE DOES?

insane. it's about captain but also about love. this line is the original version of "officer when he's angry with you and detective when he's not" -- love, as loyalty or devotion or service or care or effort or any of the numerous behaviors we come to associate with spock, underlies every instance he ever calls him captain, and here, we see with edith that he even means it when he doesn't. "if I let go of a hammer on a planet that has a positive gravity, I need not see it fall to know that it has in fact fallen" he need not even call him by name to know that everything he DOES is a revelation of care!!!!!!! calling him captain as a love confession, my god. who needs romance when we have duty.

unreal unearth has so many echoes of his debut album. "de selby pt 2" and "to be alone" in the desire to kill the lights and become one, "butchered tongue" and "foreigner's god" in the struggles of language, "first time" and a very early interview where he describes falling in love as a death. it's not a rehash - it feels like simply a returning, reflecting on those same themes (and on, perhaps, the same events that inspired them) through new eyes. as a long time fan, it feels like coming home

Thinking about AOS Mirror!Verse Spirk is fucking me up a little because, canonically, in the prime Mirror!Verse, Spock killed Kirk, tried to reform The Empire, and caused the fall of The Empire in doing so by weakening it to invading parties. This man must regret basically every single thing he did with his life. He thought he was doing the right thing, the logical thing, ensuring the longevity of his world, and all he got was a dead soulmate and a legacy of failure.

And now he’s been granted the chance to tell his younger self to not do any of that. That there’s no saving The Empire from itself, but The Empire doesn’t matter. That killing Kirk would feel like killing himself. That he would regret it every day of his life. That his life will feel so, so content if he just follows this man and his trail of bloodshed through the galaxy.

Torture for him.

Kill for him.

Die for him.

And he will, and he does, and this time when The Empire burns itself out, Spock regrets absolutely nothing.

My heart hurts so bad for Aziraphale because I can honestly just relate to him so, so, so much.

(not putting this one under a cut so warning season 2 ahead, I'll tag it at the bottom too)

Aziraphale says, "Nothing lasts forever," but I don't believe for a second he doesn't wish that it did.

He WANTS things to go back to how they used to be. He WANTS the seraphic Crowley squealing with joy as he cranks up the universal machine and sets the stars aflame. He WANTS there to be no sides, he WANTS to believe in the idea of the host united, he WANTS to go back before Crowley got himself in trouble by asking questions. He wants, I think, to be in that moment of creation and adoration forever.

Change seems to frighten him. There's an aspect of uncertainty. There's an element of chaos, the loss of control. I understand this deeply. And what the Metatron offered him was just that: certainty, control, the ability to dictate his own narrative.

I used to be in a toxic job. On top of it, I had intense anxiety and other undiagnosed neurodivergencies that made it even harder to fit in and understand the untold rules I was supposed to follow to get along. When I first got there, it wasn't so bad -- perhaps I was, like Aziraphale, also a bit idealistic. Then there were some changes that brought instability, significant more anxiety, and a lot of nights spent agonizing over my lack of control over it all.

My friends and significant other tried to convince me to leave, but I didn't want to. I didn't know what else was out there. I didn't know if it would be worse. I didn't know what kind of stability it would have.

Then my manager left, so that spot opened up. I had worked there for a long time, and honestly, I never saw myself going into management. I didn't think I could. I wasn't sure I even wanted to. All of that extra stress, on me? Not to mention, getting FURTHER into the job that was taking a massive toll on me? But then...

Then I would have control. Then I could run things the way *I* had always thought they should run. I wouldn't need to worry about who would replace my manager and whether my life would be a living hell -- I would make it what I wanted it to be. Upper management was really pushing for it, so I applied.

To make a long story short: I don't think it went very well. I didn't have the support I needed. I didn't have the emotional skills I needed. I think I did my best, but I'm not fond of those times. At the time, I was SURE that I wanted to move up even more, I was SURE this would make it all better. I thought this was what I REALLY wanted.

But that's not what I needed. What I needed was to get out, and eventually I did. Even as ready as I was to leave, it was absolutely agonizing. I could barely stand to handle the unknown. I was going to work together with my spouse, actually, and I was so excited for that, but I still... I still was upset and worried sick over the dramatic change that would befall my life, after I had made the decision to leave.

That's where I can relate to Aziraphale. I wonder what would've happened if, before I had actually left for good, the head honchos had come up to me and said, "We want to keep you -- how about we offer you (an even higher position)?" -- would I have said no, or would I have wanted to make a difference?

Funny, I said exactly that, too. That's almost why I didn't change jobs in the first place. I said, "But I feel like I'm really making a difference with what I'm doing now." But what pushed me over the edge was realizing that none of that mattered to them, it was all about THEIR control of ME, not the other way around.

I'm so intensely curious to see what happens with Aziraphale next, but I'm sure he will learn what Crowley understands: nothing lasts forever, and sometimes it's good that it doesn't -- even if sometimes we wish it did.

i've said before i love the way mccoy and spock take care of kirk. but the way kirk looks out for spock when his father is not only the first suspect in a murder case but also has jist had a heart attack. its slightly different the way kirk does it, he's more direct and more soft spoken- it's a tone of voice he rarely has- but he understands the topic is not up for discussion and he let's it go, hopefully letting him know hes there if spock need him

deadpool and wolverine dynamic goes so hard bc despite pretending to give no fucks (wade with his humor & logan with his attitude) they do indeed give a LOT of fucks. the both battle with self worth/esteem issues, they both have unhealthy borderline suicidal tendencies despite not being able to die, they both have/had families they don’t think they deserve. they’re overly violent and brutal and the definition of rated r but they’re also capable of making the choice of ultimate sacrifice time and time again. of such kindness, of holding breakable things gently in their hands (including each others hearts).

When the moon fell in love with the sun.